Chapter 32 - I did it for you......

"So Jon, how goes it man? what can I do for ya?"
"Fine yeah just fine Phil, listen I have a job for you, if you available to work for me?"
"Depends, what is it?"
"Are you free to meet me for a couple of hours tomorrow morning? I don't really wanna talk on the phone? lets meet up and Ill tell ya  over a coffee in Browns coffee shop on Hilmorton Boulevard"
"What time?"
"10am ok?"
" should be, I'll have to re schedule a couple of things but ... yeah I can meet ya there. will be good to catch up,... so see ya tomorrow bud."
"Tomorrow."

Hanging up the call I felt calmer and retuning my phone to my pocket I walked back round to Mara's room.
As I re entered the room the questions started. my ma could always be relied on to say her piece... sure enough she was the first...

" Jon, why were you so rude to that Detective, I did not bring you up to be like that. I was ashamed to say you are my son..... why? Jon he was doing his job... what has got into you... "

"Look Ma, I met with the Detective a few days ago, given what Mara has gone through he agreed to only go through me. I didn't want Mara anymore stressed than she is already. with her injures,
I wanted her out of hospital and on the road to recovery first that's all...... I am so pissed......  He had no right to come to the hospital and do what he's done... "

I could feel my anger rising again before I could hold back... I spat at my mom,

" so just leave it ok ma, I aint your little boy anymore, I don't need you telling me what I can and can't say... sometimes things aint all sugar candy and sweet like in your perfect world...." 

I stared at my mom and watched her reaction, immediately seeing her crumple under my words I knew I had hurt her again.... I was about to apologise again which is something that was becoming second nature to me now ; when Mara's sweet voice spoke, immediately breaking the tension in the room and between my ma and me.

"Jon,"

I looked at across at her from the doorway, as she spoke.....

"Jon, come sit with me...".
 I walked across the room from the doorway and sat on Mara's bed, and gently leaned in and kissed her lips, pulling back I looked into her eye's that always pulled me in and seemed to let me see right to her soul.......

"Jon,..... don't blame your mom, when you shouted at the Detective, I guess we all felt uncomfortable....  my mom and your mom listened as I was told... .... I know you were trying to protect me.....  and I thank you for that,..... but I am not made of glass, I wont break.... I am made of much stronger stuff than that. when the Detective arrived and said that someone had been arrested and was being charged with Arson and attempted murder.  I was shocked, until then I thought it was an accident, hell I did not even know the police were involved...... Jon, I was taking in the news and my character has always been what I know I can face and handle.... I don't like being in the dark and getting surprises and nasty shocks...... Jon if you had told me from the start about the stalking well we could have handled it together, maybe then we could have stopped it before it got to the stage we are facing now.... and don't think I am blaming you, I not ok?, I'm just  saying that if I had known we could have handled it together.....that's all.... we are a couple .....  I am the one that pushed to know who it was,  Detective Ross did not want to share the information. can you understand that?,  I could not understand who hated me so much that they would want to do this too me. I had to know for my own piece of mind"

Listening to Mara I knew she was right but I had to explain why I had made the arrangements with Detective Ross.

"I know you are more than capable Mara, but I did not want you to know just yet, I wanted you to be recovered and out of hospital before you had to handle all of this. I know your not made of glass, but given what's happened I wanted to shield you for as long as possible... simply because I love you baby"

"I know... but life is hard and a real bitch sometimes,  at least I know.... what I do not understand is.... why your ex wife's mom would hate me so much.... I have never met her or even new she existed. You have never spoke about her ever during our time together....."

"I never spoke about her because she was no longer part of my life. she was only part of my life when I was married to her daughter, or so I thought....  when Dot and I parted and divorced I cut all communication with her. She never liked me anyway and never wanted Dot to marry a rock star. she told Dot, he will break your heart mark my words.... I guess in a way, Dot and I marrying was her daughter giving her the finger..... then when our marriage failed and I of course broke Dot's  heart and  she vowed to pay me back... I thought it was hot air and words only......
Mara I am so sorry...."

I looked down holding my head in shame.... everything I touch or love I break.....

Mara put her hand on mine,

"Jon, please look at me..... Jon......"

I raised my head and tried to blink back the tears pricking my eye's.....and looked at Mara....

"Jon, stop blaming yourself, your ex mom in law is not your concern, you could not have known what she was planning. she is a sick person, ....... but as long as I still have you, everything will be fine, together we can face anything... right?  and Jon as much as you are there for me, I am here for you too.... I love you Jon Bon Jovi warts and all..."

fighting back the tears, my heart aching with hurt and love for the women I had been blessed to meet and fall in love with.... I leant forward and gave her a long and gentle lingering kiss.....