Chapter 63 - The Truth and the wole truth!!!

After my father's outburst, I saw the faces of Jessie and Jake. Jessie was shocked but lil Jake, he stood his eye's filled with water, his voice shaky as he asked, "M-m-m-Mara shot mom?" as his sentence was said the tears started to fall. It mattered not how me or Mara, or my parents felt about Dot, at the end of the day she was their mother, and of course it would hurt them to know Mara shot her, and now; thanks to my assole of a father, I had to tell the truth like it or not.

 I looked at my father who was stood still at the back of the room by the window, a smug look on his weathered face.

Jessie soothed Jake and took him out to the vending machine to buy him some candy, he gave me that look that was filled with disgust and pity! I had to accept that it was in the open and face what wrath my kids bestowed on me, I deserved it. I was racked with guilt, but in this minute, my feelings aside; I seized the opportunity to speak to my pitiful excuse of a father.

" why did you do that?, do you hate your grand kids that much, you want them to be hurt even more?, what kind of sadist are you?, ya know, just when I think you cant get any lower you go and surprise me more. Mara and I wanted to tell the  kids in our own time, what in the fucks name possessed you? and how the fuck did you know anyway?"

"oh let up Jon, you soft soap things way to much for them, your just like your mother. Doing what is ever best for the kids," he used his finger in the air to make imaginary quotation marks, then carried on.
"Why can't you just be honest?, huh?, they needed to know, they asked you three times?, are you a fucking man or mouse."

My temper was rising and I was struggling to hold it back, but the Dr said I had to rest my voice, it took every ounce of strength I possessed not to let rip and punch the muther fucker in the mouth, but I held it together.

"The kids would have known in good time, it was for Mara and me to tell them not you. as for being man or a mouse, I am more of a man than you will ever be, not because I am soft and make things easy for my kids, but because I have compassion and caring in my soul. You don't have a heart, in place of yours is sarcasm and an evil I would not even want or try to understand. You maybe my father by birth, but not by choice." I ended the conversation by adding, "Thanks for calling in, but your visit is over, now leave and don't come back."

"Strong words son, but when you think about it, you know I am right, I have made you what you are..."
"Just shut the fuck up and go, this is over"
"Hear me out, ok?"
my temper erupted, "I said, GET THE FUCK OUT!"
three nurses came into the room after hearing my outburst.

my father reached the door and just raised a salute with his hand as he left, still with a smug look on his face.
I laid back my head on the pillow and my heart beating so fast I thought it would burst from my chest. The nurses tending to me, and making sure I was ok. with a real sore raspy voice I apologised. They smiled at me to let me know they were fine and understood. As the nurses left, Jessie and Jake came back into the room, then Mara.

Jessie looked at Mara, and there was a coldness in his eye's never seen before. "Jessie, Son, I will explain then maybe you will understand, but I want to tell you all together, ok, please don't judge until you have all the facts, that's all I ask."
He turned his look away from Mara and looked at me, and simply nodded his understanding. Jake just sobbed and Jessie held him close while we waited.

Mara figured what was going on, and asked, "how?, your pop?"
I nodded, "Yep, as always."
Mara looked at the kids who stood watching her, even though I asked them not to judge, they were and in a way it was understandable.

When my mom and Steph returned they were smiling and happy as they came into my room, but stopped as they saw the faces of Jessie and Mara, and because of the silence.

"Jon, what's going on?"
"Its dad, he ..." I struggled to say the words, my mom helped me out. "He didn't, well the god damn son of a bitch... so Jessie and Jakey know?"
"they know the basics not the full facts..."
Steph spoke, "Ma-ma what's daddy talking about?, is mom dead?"
I called Steph over, "Baby girl come sit with me please, Jessie and Jake you too."
they walked over, Steph with a puzzled look on her face, and coldness from Jessie and Jake.
"kids, there really is no easy way of telling you what you need to know, but I ask that you listen completely, don't judge until the end, then you can ask questions one by one ok?"
"What are you saying daddy?" Stephs blue eye's held contact with mine, taking her hand I began to explain everything to them. Good as there word they sat in silence listening and taking in the facts as to how Mara shot their mom. When I was finished, Jessie, Jake and Steph all looked at one another, and then to me and lastly Mara, who was by the door head down crying softly. Steph made the first move. she got up from the bed and went over to Mara, as Mara looked at her, Steph pulled her in for a hug, Jessie and Jake followed.

Steph spoke, "Thank you for telling us the truth, Mara, if my mom dies, it was caused through her own fault, not yours, you are dad were held hostage by her, and well, if you had not fired the gun, my dad would be dead, so Thank you for saving his life, and we all still love you," she turned to the boys, "Don't we guy's" Jessie and Jake grabbed Mara tighter and agreed with Steph. my mom came and sat on my bed, and took my hand, she had not heard the facts before I explained and she was tearful for what we had suffered. I asked her, "Mom how did dad know?" "Byron, he called to talk to me, but your pop was visiting collecting some stuff he wanted and he asked him direct why he was acting for you and it must be serious if he's involved, because it was your pop, Byron explained, I'm sorry If I had got to the phone sooner it would never have happened."
Like me, my mom was blaming herself, but the catalogue of events, were as they were and everything has to run its course.