"Oh, Baby, Sssssh relax, everything is fine, I'm here"
"But what happened?"
"Nothing, everything is fine? don't stress,"
"But I am stressed, tell me please what happened?"
my voice was raspy and sore and my throat hurt like hell, but I needed to know what had happened, had I dreamt it? still Mara would not tell,
"Nothing really, everything is fine?"
"The cops?, Byron?"
"nothing matters, please baby, just relax ok?"
I was frustrated, I needed to know, I banged my fists on the bed and glared at Mara.
"Will you for gods sake tell me?"
"Ok,..Ok, you collapsed in the station and had to be re admitted to hospital, the cop that arrested you, Callaghan, when he put you in the squad car, he pressed to hard on your weak side, he caused your lung to deflate again. The good news is Byron is suing for wrongful arrest"
"it wasn't a dream then?"
"no"
"so how long have I been out of it?"
"two days,....... But Doc says your gonna be fine with rest"
"why's my voice hoarse?, my throat is killing me?"
" do you remember anything before waking?"
"kinda, but waking here I thought it was a dream,...... I remember talking to By, then coughing.... And then nothing"
" when you were coughing, acid rose from your stomach and burned the larynx, Doc says its nothing to worry about, and it will heal one hundred percent, you just have to rest ok?"
I nodded my head, but I was restless, I asked about Byron,
" is Byron done with me, did he get everything he needed?"
"Baby, I've told you everything is fine, stop talking and rest your voice, I need you fit and well again"
"Mara, please; don't treat me like a child, this is serious, just answer me please?"
she relented, with a big sigh she spoke
"Ok, he said he had more than enough," her brow creased in a frown as she thought about what he had said,
"erm, let me think, oh yeah, he said, "its time this circus and clowns, hit the road, we are gonna help them pack and move on"
By's humour always was out there, but I found a smile playing at the corner of my lips as Mara repeated what he had said.
"I thought he would have been here?"
"he stayed with us until the ambulance arrived, He left cause he had to take his daughter to Summer camp, but he made me promise to call him when you woke. He seems a real nice guy, I gotta say I like him Jon"
"he is. I just wish I had called him at the start of all this shit, then this nightmare could have been avoided, what in the hells name was I thinking?"
Mara's hand reached over to mine, she took hold as she spoke,
"no good looking back on what could of been, we just have to look to move on baby. we will get through this, trust me ok?"
Again a smile played at the corner of my mouth, Mara had a way about her that I loved. She never ever said or looked back on things her attitude was always move on and can do.
I pulled her wrist gently, and she responded by bending down, as we kissed the fire inside me ignited once more, letting me know, she was one hundred per cent the girl for me, I don't normally dwell, but again the question popped into my head, what if.......
Our private moment was then broken and all thoughts I had, about Mara, the past and what I wanted to do with her, and yes, I was feeling, well, you know.... as the Dr walked into my room,
"Good Afternoon Jon, nice to see your awake? how are you feeling?"
while he asked me questions, he checked my chart, and carried out basic obs.
Then with his torch pen he checked my throat.
" Mmmm, still looking sore, how's it feeling,"
he gently pressed around my larynx and watched my reactions. I winced as he pressed.
" Mmmm that's to be expected, but no serious damage done, it will heal in a few days, but I need you to just rest your voice as much as possible until then ok?"
I nodded at the Doc, I looked at Mara, I needed to know how long I was going to be kept in for, she understood me and my look so well and knew what I wanted to ask,
"Dr, can I ask, how long will Jon have to stay in hospital for?,"
he looked at us both as he answered
"a few day's at most, I suspect, truth is, he is lucky, after we completed the minor surgery needed to re inflate his lung and put him on oxygen he became stable, if he stays that way, and if his throat and larynx and lung are fine in a few days time, we will discharge him and let him go home."
he then looked directly at me, " he saw my character I was sure, my mom always used to say my stubborn streak could be spotted at ten paces,
"So if you want home sooner Mr Bongiovi, rest, ok?"
again I nodded.
"I mean it.."
I gave him the thumbs up sign, so he knew I fully understood what he was saying, this time his serious look changed to one with a smile as he left my room.
After the Doc had visited, Mara sat with me, she spoke about things; mundane things just making polite conversation so as to make sure I rested my voice. So, when I woke I realised I must have dozed off, I looked for Mara, she was not sitting next to me as she had been.
Instinctively I called out, "Mara"
"I'm here,"
I turned my head to look in the direction where her voice came, she had moved across to the window and was sat in the day chair.
"Sorry, when you dozed off, I thought I would do the same. You ok?"
"Yeah, I think so, been better if I'm honest but, I'm ok," Still my voice was raspy and sore and hurt like hell.
Mara began with the polite conversation again,
"Richie rang into the hospital, he left message to say he is thinking of you,"
"That's nice." for no real reason I was irritated by the comment, or was it Richie's best wishes, either way I did not realise it had come as it did.
"What's with the sarcasm?"
"I wasn't being sarcastic?, was I?"
"Sounded it"
"Sorry"
I turned my head away and looked at the ceiling.
"What's wrong? tell me, has Richie done something wrong? what is it?"
"Nothing, honest, I didn't mean to be sarcastic, it came out wrong."
How could I tell Mara, I had no real reason for feeling irked as I did, I asked myself, was I jealous? of Richie?, In a flash I had my answer, yes I was, or was it envy? I was not sure, but I knew why, because he has a near perfect life, no drama, and no fucking ex-wife who is a pyscho bitch, that's why... I knew it was stupid, but I just could not help myself. Rich was my best buddy and I knew how I was feeling was wrong, but just now, well there was nothing I could do, I felt shame too and just could not tell Mara the reason, she would hate me. I had no love for myself at that moment.
"Eh huh, not buying it Giovi, I know you to well now, so give..."
Shock and guilt must have registered on my face, as she got up from her chair and came and stood directly to the side of my bed.
pulling up a hard chair she sat...
"Well I'm waiting"
"Look, its silly really,"
"Ok, well tell, I'll decide"
"Look, can you leave it, please, it really is nothing, it's just me acting all stupid..?"
Mara studied my face, and then spoke "Alright, if that's the way you want it, I'll leave it be.."
Wanting to change the subject, I asked..
"What time is it?"
Mara looked at her wrist watch, "it's a quarter after seven,"
"umm thought it was late, I'm hungry.."
"They brought the meal tray at five, but as you were sleeping I told them to take it away, do you want me to fetch something for you?"
"Yes please, anything," my stomach was growling, I joked
" even cardboard will do, anything to take the edge off.." I smiled at Mara,
"Well, hold that thought, there's only a vending machine out there, so it could be cardboard"
she laughed as she left the room.
I lay in my bed thinking about Richie and trying to figure my head and the stupid feelings that kept washing over me, when noise of bodies burst threw the door.
Looking over I saw my mom, pop and my kids. My heart flipped as I saw my babies, I was so happy to see them, I could not stop the tears falling.
"Hey guy's,"
"Dad, Jacob jumped on the bed, and was immediately told off by everyone, he climbed down and stood sulking and had tears in his eyes,
"I just wanted to hug my d-d-dad, as his bottom lip started to tremble, I pulled him close to me, "It's ok lil man, don't worry no damage done." his arms went around my neck and he rested his head gently on my chest, as he climbed back on board.
"So, what are you all doing here?" immediately Steph answered,
"oh, we were visiting the lady in the next room and we heard Jon Bon Jovi was in this room so thought we'd drop by and say hi,"
Steph definitely inherited her sarcasm from me,
"Alright, smart ass..... you know what I mean." she smiled at me, then with a serious note she continued
" we wanted to see you were ok pop, Grandma, knew how worried we were, remember the last we heard was mom on the phone, and she said the next time we would see you and Mara would be in the morgue, we have been scared to death, uncle Richie was the one that told us you were ok, why didn't you tell us?"
I didn't like lying to my kids, but sometimes bending the truth had to be done. how could I tell them Mara had shot their mother?
"Baby girl, I would have rung, but my lung deflated and I was brought back into hospital, I'm sorry to have scared you that bad, can you forgive me?"
Jesse and Steph looked at me, then each other, with big smiles on their faces they all answered together including Jake with his head down on my chest, "Of course we do, we love you..." that touched my heart, and although Dorothea was a monster, somehow we had done something right and had produced three beautiful kids together. When Mara walked back into the room, the surprise on her face was one of shock. My eyes fixed on the pack of sandwiches she was holding.
"you guy's" in seconds Jake was off me and stood with the family as arms from every direction enveloped her, she was laughing and hugged everyone back, "You all ok?"
the kids answered
"Were fine, we were worried about you and dad, but he has explained so its all good now. " Mara looked at me a look of horror on her face, I gently shook my head to let her know I had not mentioned Dot being shot, she looked relieved as she broke free from the arms and moved over to give me my sandwiches.
"Sorry baby that's all they had" I read the packet "Pastrami on rye" "just cardboard then?" I joked my least favourite food, but I opened the pack and took a bite, just as Steph asked?
"so what happened to mom?"
"But what happened?"
"Nothing, everything is fine? don't stress,"
"But I am stressed, tell me please what happened?"
my voice was raspy and sore and my throat hurt like hell, but I needed to know what had happened, had I dreamt it? still Mara would not tell,
"Nothing really, everything is fine?"
"The cops?, Byron?"
"nothing matters, please baby, just relax ok?"
I was frustrated, I needed to know, I banged my fists on the bed and glared at Mara.
"Will you for gods sake tell me?"
"Ok,..Ok, you collapsed in the station and had to be re admitted to hospital, the cop that arrested you, Callaghan, when he put you in the squad car, he pressed to hard on your weak side, he caused your lung to deflate again. The good news is Byron is suing for wrongful arrest"
"it wasn't a dream then?"
"no"
"so how long have I been out of it?"
"two days,....... But Doc says your gonna be fine with rest"
"why's my voice hoarse?, my throat is killing me?"
" do you remember anything before waking?"
"kinda, but waking here I thought it was a dream,...... I remember talking to By, then coughing.... And then nothing"
" when you were coughing, acid rose from your stomach and burned the larynx, Doc says its nothing to worry about, and it will heal one hundred percent, you just have to rest ok?"
I nodded my head, but I was restless, I asked about Byron,
" is Byron done with me, did he get everything he needed?"
"Baby, I've told you everything is fine, stop talking and rest your voice, I need you fit and well again"
"Mara, please; don't treat me like a child, this is serious, just answer me please?"
she relented, with a big sigh she spoke
"Ok, he said he had more than enough," her brow creased in a frown as she thought about what he had said,
"erm, let me think, oh yeah, he said, "its time this circus and clowns, hit the road, we are gonna help them pack and move on"
By's humour always was out there, but I found a smile playing at the corner of my lips as Mara repeated what he had said.
"I thought he would have been here?"
"he stayed with us until the ambulance arrived, He left cause he had to take his daughter to Summer camp, but he made me promise to call him when you woke. He seems a real nice guy, I gotta say I like him Jon"
"he is. I just wish I had called him at the start of all this shit, then this nightmare could have been avoided, what in the hells name was I thinking?"
Mara's hand reached over to mine, she took hold as she spoke,
"no good looking back on what could of been, we just have to look to move on baby. we will get through this, trust me ok?"
Again a smile played at the corner of my mouth, Mara had a way about her that I loved. She never ever said or looked back on things her attitude was always move on and can do.
I pulled her wrist gently, and she responded by bending down, as we kissed the fire inside me ignited once more, letting me know, she was one hundred per cent the girl for me, I don't normally dwell, but again the question popped into my head, what if.......
Our private moment was then broken and all thoughts I had, about Mara, the past and what I wanted to do with her, and yes, I was feeling, well, you know.... as the Dr walked into my room,
"Good Afternoon Jon, nice to see your awake? how are you feeling?"
while he asked me questions, he checked my chart, and carried out basic obs.
Then with his torch pen he checked my throat.
" Mmmm, still looking sore, how's it feeling,"
he gently pressed around my larynx and watched my reactions. I winced as he pressed.
" Mmmm that's to be expected, but no serious damage done, it will heal in a few days, but I need you to just rest your voice as much as possible until then ok?"
I nodded at the Doc, I looked at Mara, I needed to know how long I was going to be kept in for, she understood me and my look so well and knew what I wanted to ask,
"Dr, can I ask, how long will Jon have to stay in hospital for?,"
he looked at us both as he answered
"a few day's at most, I suspect, truth is, he is lucky, after we completed the minor surgery needed to re inflate his lung and put him on oxygen he became stable, if he stays that way, and if his throat and larynx and lung are fine in a few days time, we will discharge him and let him go home."
he then looked directly at me, " he saw my character I was sure, my mom always used to say my stubborn streak could be spotted at ten paces,
"So if you want home sooner Mr Bongiovi, rest, ok?"
again I nodded.
"I mean it.."
I gave him the thumbs up sign, so he knew I fully understood what he was saying, this time his serious look changed to one with a smile as he left my room.
After the Doc had visited, Mara sat with me, she spoke about things; mundane things just making polite conversation so as to make sure I rested my voice. So, when I woke I realised I must have dozed off, I looked for Mara, she was not sitting next to me as she had been.
Instinctively I called out, "Mara"
"I'm here,"
I turned my head to look in the direction where her voice came, she had moved across to the window and was sat in the day chair.
"Sorry, when you dozed off, I thought I would do the same. You ok?"
"Yeah, I think so, been better if I'm honest but, I'm ok," Still my voice was raspy and sore and hurt like hell.
Mara began with the polite conversation again,
"Richie rang into the hospital, he left message to say he is thinking of you,"
"That's nice." for no real reason I was irritated by the comment, or was it Richie's best wishes, either way I did not realise it had come as it did.
"What's with the sarcasm?"
"I wasn't being sarcastic?, was I?"
"Sounded it"
"Sorry"
I turned my head away and looked at the ceiling.
"What's wrong? tell me, has Richie done something wrong? what is it?"
"Nothing, honest, I didn't mean to be sarcastic, it came out wrong."
How could I tell Mara, I had no real reason for feeling irked as I did, I asked myself, was I jealous? of Richie?, In a flash I had my answer, yes I was, or was it envy? I was not sure, but I knew why, because he has a near perfect life, no drama, and no fucking ex-wife who is a pyscho bitch, that's why... I knew it was stupid, but I just could not help myself. Rich was my best buddy and I knew how I was feeling was wrong, but just now, well there was nothing I could do, I felt shame too and just could not tell Mara the reason, she would hate me. I had no love for myself at that moment.
"Eh huh, not buying it Giovi, I know you to well now, so give..."
Shock and guilt must have registered on my face, as she got up from her chair and came and stood directly to the side of my bed.
pulling up a hard chair she sat...
"Well I'm waiting"
"Look, its silly really,"
"Ok, well tell, I'll decide"
"Look, can you leave it, please, it really is nothing, it's just me acting all stupid..?"
Mara studied my face, and then spoke "Alright, if that's the way you want it, I'll leave it be.."
Wanting to change the subject, I asked..
"What time is it?"
Mara looked at her wrist watch, "it's a quarter after seven,"
"umm thought it was late, I'm hungry.."
"They brought the meal tray at five, but as you were sleeping I told them to take it away, do you want me to fetch something for you?"
"Yes please, anything," my stomach was growling, I joked
" even cardboard will do, anything to take the edge off.." I smiled at Mara,
"Well, hold that thought, there's only a vending machine out there, so it could be cardboard"
she laughed as she left the room.
I lay in my bed thinking about Richie and trying to figure my head and the stupid feelings that kept washing over me, when noise of bodies burst threw the door.
Looking over I saw my mom, pop and my kids. My heart flipped as I saw my babies, I was so happy to see them, I could not stop the tears falling.
"Hey guy's,"
"Dad, Jacob jumped on the bed, and was immediately told off by everyone, he climbed down and stood sulking and had tears in his eyes,
"I just wanted to hug my d-d-dad, as his bottom lip started to tremble, I pulled him close to me, "It's ok lil man, don't worry no damage done." his arms went around my neck and he rested his head gently on my chest, as he climbed back on board.
"So, what are you all doing here?" immediately Steph answered,
"oh, we were visiting the lady in the next room and we heard Jon Bon Jovi was in this room so thought we'd drop by and say hi,"
Steph definitely inherited her sarcasm from me,
"Alright, smart ass..... you know what I mean." she smiled at me, then with a serious note she continued
" we wanted to see you were ok pop, Grandma, knew how worried we were, remember the last we heard was mom on the phone, and she said the next time we would see you and Mara would be in the morgue, we have been scared to death, uncle Richie was the one that told us you were ok, why didn't you tell us?"
I didn't like lying to my kids, but sometimes bending the truth had to be done. how could I tell them Mara had shot their mother?
"Baby girl, I would have rung, but my lung deflated and I was brought back into hospital, I'm sorry to have scared you that bad, can you forgive me?"
Jesse and Steph looked at me, then each other, with big smiles on their faces they all answered together including Jake with his head down on my chest, "Of course we do, we love you..." that touched my heart, and although Dorothea was a monster, somehow we had done something right and had produced three beautiful kids together. When Mara walked back into the room, the surprise on her face was one of shock. My eyes fixed on the pack of sandwiches she was holding.
"you guy's" in seconds Jake was off me and stood with the family as arms from every direction enveloped her, she was laughing and hugged everyone back, "You all ok?"
the kids answered
"Were fine, we were worried about you and dad, but he has explained so its all good now. " Mara looked at me a look of horror on her face, I gently shook my head to let her know I had not mentioned Dot being shot, she looked relieved as she broke free from the arms and moved over to give me my sandwiches.
"Sorry baby that's all they had" I read the packet "Pastrami on rye" "just cardboard then?" I joked my least favourite food, but I opened the pack and took a bite, just as Steph asked?
"so what happened to mom?"
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