Chapter 30 - The Price of Love

Back behind the doors of my home, despite having my kids and Richie with me solitude hit me hard. my mind was a total bag of clutter and chaos, to put it into pictures, think of the messiest room in the house with papers everywhere and a force nine wind blowing through lifting it all up and you trying to stand in the middle of it and sort it out. Yep that's how my mind was for me right now. I had come through my depression meeting Mara, gained my self respect and own esteem, regained my wonderful kids, and then bang, the women I was married to along with her mom try to kill my new girlfriend by setting fire to her house and stalking us.... shit this could be a movie right?  god damn it!!!
"Whats up bro?"
"Aw nothing Rich, nothin, so kids; you're all ok with me going to see Mara tonight and staying with Richie till I get home? tomorrow we can do whatever you want."
Jesse spoke, "Dad, we are fine, honest and yeah go see Mara, tell her we are thinking of her and look forward to meeting her soon, we want to thank her too."
"Thank her? for what Jess?"
"For giving us back our dad." I know it wasn't seen as cool but I did not care and pulled my son in for a hug, swallowing hard at the lump forming in my throat. Jesse hugged me real tight too.
"That's a really nice thing to say Jess, thank you, do you want me to tell her or would you guy's like to do that yourselves when you meet her?"
"we will tell her dad, you aint getting all the glory there are three more Bongiovi's she has to get to know now."
I laughed, my eldest son was definitely a Bongiovi, he had the charm and wit that just fell from his lips.
"Ok son, no worries." 
Jake and Jessie went off off with Richie to get a drink and something to snack on, Steph was still pouting and looking out of the lobby window.
"Steph, you ok honey?"
Total silence, "Steph, C'mon, I was messing around, sweetheart look at me?"
She turned around, tears filling her pretty blue eye's, "How could you dad, how can I stay with Richie now you have told him that. It's just a joke to you, but the feelings I have are real to me and you showing me up like that, you have really broke my heart."
"Sweetheart, Richie is your uncle, ok I admit I was wrong to blurt it out as I did, but I was only having a giggle, you can always smooth it over and say my dad is an ass unc he don't know what he's talking about, mention another kid you have a crush on, play it down. Steph, I love you more than life it's self, I am sorry for hurting you really I am, can you forgive your ol man?"
She looked at me, still with watery eye's but a smile broke on her lips and she hugged me tight and told me she loved me.
"Dad, will we ever have to go back and live with Mom?"
I wanted to immediately say no never, but until I had spoken with my lawyer and taken legal advice I was sitting on shaky ground.
"I hope not sweetheart, but I need to speak to my Lawyer and get things sorted, rest assured though I will do everything in my power to not let you guys have to go back to Mom's ok?"
"Ok"
"Steph?"
"Yeah,"
"Will you tell me everything and explain, cos right now I am getting the picture in parts, and I need the whole picture to help fight our case."
"Sure, we will all tell you anything you want to know Dad, when do you want to talk about it."
"tomorrow sweetheart, you, me , Jess and Jake, we can have a picnic and make it as relaxing as possible no distractions so you guys can all tell me everything, that ok with you?"
"Sure, Ill let the boys know, what time are you going to see Mara pop?"
"soon, really soon, it's quite a trip fifty minutes to the hospital, grandma is with Mara, and her Mom."
"How bad is she?"
"pretty bad Steph, it's gonna take some time for her to recover fully."
"How long?"
"No one knows sweetheart, we just have to take each day as it comes."
"Where will Mara live when she comes out of hospital?"
That was a question that I had not thought about and it stunned me for a moment before I could answer.
"That will be Mara's decision honey, she has her mom so I guess she will want to stay with her, but if Mara wants too she can stay in my guest house by the lake."
I didn't want the kids to think I was gonna move Mara straight in, for fear that they thought I was trying to replace their Mom.
"Guest house?, dad, why the guest house? Mara is your girlfriend aint she?"
"Yeah, she is, but I thought you guy's being here, I don't wanna upset you by moving Mara straight in, especially with things as they are, and with your Mom."
Jesse, Jake and Richie walked back into the room just as Steph threw back her reply,
"Oh jeez dad, seriously please? are you for real? man you are so crap at relationships, Dad, we are all fine with you seeing Mara and if her moving in makes her and you happy we are all fine with it.Ok?"
"Yeah, no fight from me pop?"
"Why the fight?"
"Jake it's a turn of phrase, grow up"
"Jessie James, hold your tongue with Jakey, he's younger than you and sometimes doesn't always understand."
Grabbing Jake, I explained what we had been talking about, true to his brother and sister, he was cool with things too.
I felt so lucky to have three wonderful kids, and a beautiful girlfriend in my life, now  I needed to get my ass moving and go see her and let her know the events that have come to light.