I could not believe what Detective Ross had told me, Dots Mom was the stalker and had possibly committed attempted murder too! "Hey Jon? man are you ok?" breaking back to reality I looked at Richie who had nothing but concern on his face.
"Yeah bud I'm good. just letting what I've been told to sink in. fuck, Richie, part of me wants to go over there and slap her silly, another part of me just wants to know why?, Jeez I provided for Dot and the kids, I know I screwed up but Dot killed my heart first or I never would have done the things I did. If I hadn't I would still be happily married to Dot I guess.... shit I just don't know. This is like a movie, a god damn horror movie at that. What do I do Rich? I can't tell my Mom and Mara about this?"
"Jon, there is nothing you can do, and stop beating yourself up already. This aint your fault, you cannot be held responsible for a deranged psycho and her daughter, leave it to the cops man and don't tell your mom anything. Fact bud, they only have assumption to go on at this time, that detective guy said he needs to make further enquiries. chill bud until you have all the facts, nothing you can do. but I do suggest we get back to mine and get the kids eh?"
Listening to Richie, he made perfect sense. "yeah, your rite Rich, c'mon lets go get the kids and head off on the boat, I need to let my hair down for a while and relax with my kids, I want, no need to forget the last 3 days, c'mon lets go."
Grabbing the keys for the SUV we set off to Richie's place, thanking Richie's house keeper for looking after the kids I slipped her a $100 dollar bill to say thank you, she was most appreciative.
With kids in the car we headed back to my place and to the boat house to collect the boat. We had grabbed food and supplies for the day and we had a great time, for the next five hours my problems did not exist and I was able to enjoy my time with my best friend and my three wonderful kids. returning the boat to the boat house and with the kids in the SUV I drove them back to their mom's Richie came with me.
Pulling on to Dot's, drive she was already out of the house waiting for me and the kids to arrive. Richie wanted to get out and have a word, I stopped him, but thanked him none the less, I told him to just cover my back as I did not trust dot one bit. With his hand on my shoulder he promised to do just that.
I pulled up and parked, the kids got out too and very sombrely walked towards the house. I got out of the SUV and walked beside Steph. "Dad, do we have to stay with Mom?"
"What do you mean steph?"
"I mean can't we come live with you?"
"I wish you could sweetheart, but your mom aint gonna let that happen anytime soon."
"What's it to her where we live. She don't care, most nights she spends her time in the den drinking and looking at your photo, pop if we didn't have pippa we would starve, Pippa does far more for us than Mom."
"Grabbing Steph's arm I stopped her walking, the other kids stopped too.
"Whoa, what the hell is going on, how come you are telling me this now, and who the fuck is Pippa?"
Jesse spoke up"Dad, Pippa is our house keeper, she cleans the house, but she has become like a nanny to us, she does our laundry, feeds us, gets us ready for school, picks us up after activity clubs and stuff, mom has been falling apart for years, and well, we thought you didn't care cos we never saw you, and mom, well she told us that you did not care if we lived or died. In our hearts we knew that was not true and that one day you would come find us all."
"Jesse, Steph and you lil man, please do not ever think I never wanted you, I tired so many times to see you, your mom but a stop to it, telling me she was protecting you all from me, I was in a bad place at the time kids and I was on self destruct and I admit I believed her lies. Now I am on the better side of getting better and I know she was wrong, kids, that's why I met your mom a week ago to have permanent access to you guys, to build our relationship and get to know you all. I love you all so much."
"Dad, it's ok, we know that, but, we don't need a nanny and we don't like living with mom, can we come live with you?"
I listened in shock at my children explaining the nightmare they had endured, for years with Dorothea, she had painted a perfect family picture to me, showing her in the best light protecting the kids, that however was as far away from the truth as it could be, she had tried to build poison in to my kids, and did not give a fuck about them. my brain was whirling but I had to act.
"Kids, I've heard enough, go get in the car, you're all coming to live with me", the three of them just stood staring at me, "go now." three sets of feet ran off to the SUV and climbed back inside. Richie stood next to me. "Gutsy decision man, hope your prepared for war, here come's Dot."
"I'm ready Rich, stand by though please bro"
"Sure bud you got it, I'm here for you"
"Jon, just what the fuck, why have the kids got back in your car?"
"Dot, the kids are gonna come live with me."
"The fuck they are Jon, if you think I am letting my kids live with you and that bitch you are screwing think again."
"what?, lets get things straight shall we Dot?, today, I met with a detective and I find out that your mom is responsible for my girlfriend lying in hospital with 3rd degree burns, "Dots face went pale, she looked at me shocked.
"Don't tell me you knew nothing about it cos I won't believe you Dot, second, you rape me when I stay over, and third my kids have just told me you do nothing for them and have been pouring poison into their ears for years telling them I don't give a fuck about them. Steph just asked me if she could stay with me, jesse joined in and told me, that someone called Pippa has been looking after them while you sit in the den drinking and looking at my photo, now have a I left anything out?"
"Jon, I-I-I-I..."
"Save it Dot, whatever you are gonna say, I don't wanna hear it, we are through dot and you will be hearing from my lawyer, for now the kids are coming home with me, and for the record Mara is not a bitch, she is a wonderful caring loving person, and let me tell you this, when I make love with her she takes me to places I have never known before, I love her with all my heart, You and I should never have been, the only thing that has been of anything good from my time with you Dot is my kids, now is there anything you don't understand?"
"Jon, you have totally misunderstood me, I need to explain, Can we go to the den and talk please?"
"I am not interested in anything else you have to say, for the last time Dot, IT'S OVER!!!"
I turned and walked away with Rich at my side. Dot kept calling my name, screaming for me to go back, she was crying hysterically by the time we reached the SUV. Rich and I climbing into the SUV we saw her on her knees head in hand crying.
"Shit man that was fucking intense. So how are you gonna do this bro, aint ya gotta go see Mara tonight?"
"Yeah I have, I aint thought that far ahead Rich, I am winging it right now."
"Well look, how bout I sit with the kids, I can order some takeout, watch a movie with um give you a chance to go see Mara and sort some of this shit out eh?"
"Rich man, you are my superman, I playfully punched him on his arm and laughed, seriously bro that would help me so much, are you sure? I don't wanna ruin any plans you have"
"Yeah course I am man, you kids ok with yeah ol uncle looking after ya for a few hours eh?"
Stephaine spoke first, "Yep, no worries unc." she had the pink blush to her cheeks again. I smiled to myself, Richie saw it, "What ya smiling at?"
"Well, as a laugh escaped my lips, I could see the look of shock on Steph's face, "my daughter has a crush on you Richie."
"Really?"
"Daaaaaaaddddddd, how could you?" she scowled and pouted and blushed sitting with an indignant look to her face staring out of the window."
"Steph, I am flattered, really thank you."
She ignored Richie, and continued staring out of the window, not speaking another word until we pulled up on to the drive.
Friday, 26 July 2013
Sunday, 23 June 2013
Shot thru the heart! Chapter one!
Chapter one
"Quick, call 911, Jon, Jon, bud, c'mon wake up, Jon, Jesus Christ..... what the fuck have you given him huh? c'mon you son of a bitch tell? I swear to god if anything happens to him I will sue your fucking ass."
Looking down at the motionless body of my best friend I stood over him feeling totally helpless. My rant aimed at our Manager Doc McGhee and the so called Dr who had been shooting different drugs and steroids into Jon's body while we were on tour.
Gavin one of the roadies, had called the emergency services, for now all we could do was pray to god he was alive and the services reached him in time.
Sorry I guess I should introduce myself first eh, my name is Richard Sambora, or Richie to my buddies and fans; I play lead guitar in the rock band Bon Jovi, my buddy that is lying helpless on the floor is Jon Bon Jovi lead singer and who the band is named after.
We have been on the road performing to sell out shows all over the world for the last two years, tonight was our last show before our break.
God knows how long the break will be cos we honest to god are fucked off at the sight of each other.
Mental and physical exhaustion are the main reason's but there is more to it, but I don't think now is the time to go into that, the most important thing right now is Jon, yeah it is bad, let me explain a little into the life of the rock band Bon Jovi, maybe with a clear picture you can inject some sense into this performing circus and bullshit we have lived together and endured twenty four hours seven days a week?.
During the tour Jon has suffered with his vocals and has been taking steroids to help him perform, I tell ya to the paying public there looked like there was nothing wrong. backstage, we saw the impact that has been thrown on his worn out body. Throwing up, not eating, not sleeping, collapses, tremors, bleeding, you name it we have witnessed it. yeah its terrifying. and no it's not the start of a Bon Jovi song, though maybe one day it will be. Our Manager Doc McGhee, is a slave driver, often heard telling Jon when we have had a real bad episode with his vocals tightening up,
"Quit whining Jonny, if ya want the fame, you gotta run with the big boys, and don't piss like a puppy." I'm gonna have that one engraved on the muther fuckers headstone.
Part of what he says is true, but the other is he is a callous fucker who only see's the dollar signs we are raking in for him.
Thing is Doc was taking a major cut of the Bon Jovi money machine and even though we had toured the world twice in 2 years, we; the band had little to show for it, just something else to piss us off. there we are working our butts off seven days a week, seeing nothing but hotel rooms and planes, no sight seeing; nothing, but each other for company, it kinda grinds on yer if ya get my meaning. I swear go try it? work your ass off for your boss, get no payment reward, don't see your family and wifes, girlfriends, boyfriends for two years and see how you interact with your boss?, if ya come back and tell me fine, man I will call you a fucking liar. Yep, the daily grind of the Bon Jovi truck has finally ran out of gas, anyway, enough already, back to Jon, looking at him on the floor here, not a muscle has moved, he is grey in color too, man I hope those medics get here quick, it feels like forever already.
"Coming through, please make way, coming through."
"Sir can you hear me?"
"Who can tell me what has happened here?"
I spoke up given our Manager had suddenly lost his tongue and the so called Dr had disappeared.
"Yeah, our manager there has employed the services of a Dr to shoot Jon with steroids and other drugs to help his vocals, we have been on tour and Jon's chords are shot, but we had to keep going, tonight he just came of stage and collapsed. We have tried to wake him, but he aint responding so we called you guy's."
"What was the name of the drug that you have injected him with?" finally Doc found his voice again.
"Cortisone and anabolic steroids, is all's I know."
"Could you get the Dr?"
"Sure, Gav go find George."
The medics worked on Jon, they confirmed his heart was beating, but were concerned his other vitals were low and he was non responsive.
They rolled Jon onto a stretcher and before the Dr arrived they had lifted him and were taking him out to the Ambulance.
Gavin rushed back to Doc, whispering to him.
I saw red and flew in rage at Doc, "The muther fucker bastard has gone, aint he?"
"Take it easy Richie, do you think I would employ an amateur to look after you guys?, he's probably gone for cigarettes or something, I'm sure there is an explanation."
"Doc, you really don't wanna know my thoughts, and yeah I do think you would get some Doc that aint qualified or has been struck off cos it means saving you money, you are a tight ass fucker, all you see with us is money. Well I tell ya no more, we are through with you. so get your stuff and get the fuck outta our sights, but know this, if you have caused any serious damage to Jonny, I mean it man I will sue your fucking fat ass." making my point, I went outback and joined Jon in the ambulance. On route I made notes of whom to call, did I ring Dottie Jon's wife or his Mom, tough call.
Minutes later we arrived at Robert Wood Johnson Wood University Hospital, New Brunswick, NJ.
pushing me out of the way the medics took Jon straight into ICU.
Before anything else I had to find a payphone and make Jon's family aware of what had gone down. Finding the payphone I made the call to Mrs B first, then tried ringing Dottie. She did not answer and I did not wanna leave bad news on the answer phone, so I hung up. Mrs B was the first to arrive. she told me she had tried getting hold of Dot too but could not reach her yet.
Mrs B, looked drained and she was scared to death that her son in her words had been shooting drugs.
I don't why, but fuck I felt guilty at that moment. I could not answer Mrs B so stood but said nothing.
As for the fucking so called Dr that had been pumping Jon's body full of the drugs, he never did return.
Now all we could do was stand and wait for news good or bad, a worried Mom and Pop and me, waiting for news on Jon..... united in our fight that Jon would be ok.....
"Quick, call 911, Jon, Jon, bud, c'mon wake up, Jon, Jesus Christ..... what the fuck have you given him huh? c'mon you son of a bitch tell? I swear to god if anything happens to him I will sue your fucking ass."
Looking down at the motionless body of my best friend I stood over him feeling totally helpless. My rant aimed at our Manager Doc McGhee and the so called Dr who had been shooting different drugs and steroids into Jon's body while we were on tour.
Gavin one of the roadies, had called the emergency services, for now all we could do was pray to god he was alive and the services reached him in time.
Sorry I guess I should introduce myself first eh, my name is Richard Sambora, or Richie to my buddies and fans; I play lead guitar in the rock band Bon Jovi, my buddy that is lying helpless on the floor is Jon Bon Jovi lead singer and who the band is named after.
We have been on the road performing to sell out shows all over the world for the last two years, tonight was our last show before our break.
God knows how long the break will be cos we honest to god are fucked off at the sight of each other.
Mental and physical exhaustion are the main reason's but there is more to it, but I don't think now is the time to go into that, the most important thing right now is Jon, yeah it is bad, let me explain a little into the life of the rock band Bon Jovi, maybe with a clear picture you can inject some sense into this performing circus and bullshit we have lived together and endured twenty four hours seven days a week?.
During the tour Jon has suffered with his vocals and has been taking steroids to help him perform, I tell ya to the paying public there looked like there was nothing wrong. backstage, we saw the impact that has been thrown on his worn out body. Throwing up, not eating, not sleeping, collapses, tremors, bleeding, you name it we have witnessed it. yeah its terrifying. and no it's not the start of a Bon Jovi song, though maybe one day it will be. Our Manager Doc McGhee, is a slave driver, often heard telling Jon when we have had a real bad episode with his vocals tightening up,
"Quit whining Jonny, if ya want the fame, you gotta run with the big boys, and don't piss like a puppy." I'm gonna have that one engraved on the muther fuckers headstone.
Part of what he says is true, but the other is he is a callous fucker who only see's the dollar signs we are raking in for him.
Thing is Doc was taking a major cut of the Bon Jovi money machine and even though we had toured the world twice in 2 years, we; the band had little to show for it, just something else to piss us off. there we are working our butts off seven days a week, seeing nothing but hotel rooms and planes, no sight seeing; nothing, but each other for company, it kinda grinds on yer if ya get my meaning. I swear go try it? work your ass off for your boss, get no payment reward, don't see your family and wifes, girlfriends, boyfriends for two years and see how you interact with your boss?, if ya come back and tell me fine, man I will call you a fucking liar. Yep, the daily grind of the Bon Jovi truck has finally ran out of gas, anyway, enough already, back to Jon, looking at him on the floor here, not a muscle has moved, he is grey in color too, man I hope those medics get here quick, it feels like forever already.
"Coming through, please make way, coming through."
"Sir can you hear me?"
"Who can tell me what has happened here?"
I spoke up given our Manager had suddenly lost his tongue and the so called Dr had disappeared.
"Yeah, our manager there has employed the services of a Dr to shoot Jon with steroids and other drugs to help his vocals, we have been on tour and Jon's chords are shot, but we had to keep going, tonight he just came of stage and collapsed. We have tried to wake him, but he aint responding so we called you guy's."
"What was the name of the drug that you have injected him with?" finally Doc found his voice again.
"Cortisone and anabolic steroids, is all's I know."
"Could you get the Dr?"
"Sure, Gav go find George."
The medics worked on Jon, they confirmed his heart was beating, but were concerned his other vitals were low and he was non responsive.
They rolled Jon onto a stretcher and before the Dr arrived they had lifted him and were taking him out to the Ambulance.
Gavin rushed back to Doc, whispering to him.
I saw red and flew in rage at Doc, "The muther fucker bastard has gone, aint he?"
"Take it easy Richie, do you think I would employ an amateur to look after you guys?, he's probably gone for cigarettes or something, I'm sure there is an explanation."
"Doc, you really don't wanna know my thoughts, and yeah I do think you would get some Doc that aint qualified or has been struck off cos it means saving you money, you are a tight ass fucker, all you see with us is money. Well I tell ya no more, we are through with you. so get your stuff and get the fuck outta our sights, but know this, if you have caused any serious damage to Jonny, I mean it man I will sue your fucking fat ass." making my point, I went outback and joined Jon in the ambulance. On route I made notes of whom to call, did I ring Dottie Jon's wife or his Mom, tough call.
Minutes later we arrived at Robert Wood Johnson Wood University Hospital, New Brunswick, NJ.
pushing me out of the way the medics took Jon straight into ICU.
Before anything else I had to find a payphone and make Jon's family aware of what had gone down. Finding the payphone I made the call to Mrs B first, then tried ringing Dottie. She did not answer and I did not wanna leave bad news on the answer phone, so I hung up. Mrs B was the first to arrive. she told me she had tried getting hold of Dot too but could not reach her yet.
Mrs B, looked drained and she was scared to death that her son in her words had been shooting drugs.
I don't why, but fuck I felt guilty at that moment. I could not answer Mrs B so stood but said nothing.
As for the fucking so called Dr that had been pumping Jon's body full of the drugs, he never did return.
Now all we could do was stand and wait for news good or bad, a worried Mom and Pop and me, waiting for news on Jon..... united in our fight that Jon would be ok.....
Monday, 17 June 2013
Chapter 28 - One Step Closer
"What do you know detective?" Richie sat at the panio, looking at the two detectives stood in my sitting room. I stood with my back to the fire and the detectives stood in no direction just facing me in the centre of the floor.
"The Camaro as I already mentioned is registered to you. We investigated deeper and it turns out that it was purchased cash by a blonde, when I say blonde, it was a wig. the I.d taken by the clerk showed it was by a person called Margret Hurley. That name mean anything to you Mr Bongiovi?"
"Yeah, that's Dorothea's mom, she was my Mother-in-Law."
"Ummm, did you have a good relationship with your in law?"
"Not really, she did not like what I did for a job, and always thought her daughter could do better than me, I guess you could say we had a strained relationship."
"it seems so Mr Bongiovi, well taking this a stage further, Mrs Hurley, not only purchased the car and registered it in your name, but she is also the women that has been following you. We have Mrs Hurley in custody right now. so apart from not warming to you during your marriage to her daughter, is there any reason Mrs Hurley could want to harm you or your girl friend?"
"How can I answer that Detective?, I don't know what is going on in her head do I?"
"I'm sorry Mr Bongiovi, but when I say we have your mother-in law in custody she is being held for suspect Arson and attempted murder, my line of questioning is not routine."
"Fuck... you think she caused the fire."
"we are investigating that possibility, yes."
"well; I... man... no... she couldn't do that?..." turning to Richie I said, "Could she?"
"No idea man, she was always a strange one, I'd say ask Dorothea Jon. who knows her better than her own daughter."
"have you spoken with my ex-wife yet Detective?"
"Not yet, all in good time."
"Can I ask, when was the last time you saw your Mother-in-law?"
"I dunno,... erm no wait, it was about a week ago, I met with Dot, we sorted our issues and arranged my having time with the kids. Dot and I had agreed to put the past behind us and move on, she was there then."
"Did she say anything to you? anything threatening?"
"Nah, she just sat silent and glared at me the whole time. I guessed she was just there for her daughter."
"I see. well Mrs Hurley has a lot of venom for you Mr Bongiovi, she has told all about your.... erm how can I put this... your unfaithfulness to her daughter. She repeatedly said you had to pay for the hurt."
"So, how are things with your ex-wife now?"
"well. they were good until last night. but I'd rather not talk about it."
"Mr Bongiovi, I have to insist, especially if this could bear any information to the investigation."
from the piano, Richie spoke.
"Detective, its very delicate and personal between Jon and Dot, can't you leave it?"
"I'm sorry, Mr Sambora right?"
"Yeah"
"we need to obtain as much information as possible, we need to establish that Mrs Hurley acted on just her impulses and did not have the collaboration of her daughter too."
"Rich, its ok man, I'll tell him."
"last night detective, I grabbed take out for the family, Dot had been kind enough to let me go there after the hospital and see the kids, she offered me the guest room. given I had not slept for 48 hours I was happy to accept."
"ok, normal so far... continue."
"after we had ate, we went to the theatre room, the kids wanted to watch a movie. I was so whacked I don't remember anymore, other than I woke up in the guest room this morning in my shorts."
"How did you get into the guest room?"
"My son, Jessie, told me he and his mom carried me to bed."
"So your wife I guess undressed you to your shorts?."
"Yeah"
"So what happened for you to say, it was ok until last night, please explain?"
"well..."
"Yeah, in your own time sir."
"Detective, this is very delicate, it involves my son, can you give me your assurance you won't question him? he's so young, what he witnessed has really traumatised him?"
"I can make no guarantee's Mr Bongiovi, especially as it relates directly to my investigation."
I looked at Richie."
" Go ahead, Tell him bro."
"ok, sighing deeply I continued.." my son told me that my ex wife had agreed to undress me, given the length on time she was away, Jessie went upstairs to the guest room, he saw my ex wife with her hands in my shorts, .... she was masturbating me while I slept."
I held my head in shame, again I had failed to protect my kids, man I was one fucked up failure. Mara, Dot and now Jess... who would be next...
" What did you do when your son told you?"
"well, I tried to reassure him, what he had told me was fine and that I would address it with his mom, I asked him not to tell his sister and his brother."
"Did you talk to Mrs Bongiovi?"
"Yeah."
"What was the response?"
"She told she still fancied me, and wanted me."
"How did you react to that?"
"I told her she was crazy, and what she had done was illegal."
"Did you report it?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Detective, being well known I did not want that kind of information to become public."
"How would that become public?, confidentiality is paramount Mr Bongiovi."
"Yeah, everything is Detective, but it always finds a way out. It was not something I want to subject my kids to reading about."
"understandable, and I can only speak for my professionalism, and assure you that the discussion we are having between you and I and my colleague Pat Bryan, will never be repeated in public,"
the other Detective gave me his reassurance too.
"So please continue sir?"
"Well after, I kinda flipped, lost my temper and collected my bags and the kids and tried to leave."
"tried to leave?"
"Yeah, more heated words were exchanged between us outside, she really could not see that she had done anything wrong. I said some pretty awful things, so she asked me to go back inside to talk so we did not part on hostile terms."
"Did you go back inside with Mrs Bongiovi?"
"Yeah, into the office."
"Yes?"
"she started to explain about her affair and how sorry she was she had hurt me, I thought she was going to apologise for her actions the night before, but she didn't, I had heard enough of her bullshit so I tried to leave. next thing I know I am floored and she is on top trying to kiss me. I managed to get her off and leave, but she must have dug her nails into my neck and cut me as I walked out."
"So, you did part on hostile terms?"
"Yeah, guess so."
"is that all?"
"Yeah, that's everything Detective."
" ok, well Thank you, for your time Mr Bongiovi I will leave now, but I will be in touch again as soon as I have more developments. Don't bother showing us out, we can find our own way... Mr sambora.."
With that the Detectives left us alone.
"What the fuck Richie? Have we heard right? Dots Mom?"
"The Camaro as I already mentioned is registered to you. We investigated deeper and it turns out that it was purchased cash by a blonde, when I say blonde, it was a wig. the I.d taken by the clerk showed it was by a person called Margret Hurley. That name mean anything to you Mr Bongiovi?"
"Yeah, that's Dorothea's mom, she was my Mother-in-Law."
"Ummm, did you have a good relationship with your in law?"
"Not really, she did not like what I did for a job, and always thought her daughter could do better than me, I guess you could say we had a strained relationship."
"it seems so Mr Bongiovi, well taking this a stage further, Mrs Hurley, not only purchased the car and registered it in your name, but she is also the women that has been following you. We have Mrs Hurley in custody right now. so apart from not warming to you during your marriage to her daughter, is there any reason Mrs Hurley could want to harm you or your girl friend?"
"How can I answer that Detective?, I don't know what is going on in her head do I?"
"I'm sorry Mr Bongiovi, but when I say we have your mother-in law in custody she is being held for suspect Arson and attempted murder, my line of questioning is not routine."
"Fuck... you think she caused the fire."
"we are investigating that possibility, yes."
"well; I... man... no... she couldn't do that?..." turning to Richie I said, "Could she?"
"No idea man, she was always a strange one, I'd say ask Dorothea Jon. who knows her better than her own daughter."
"have you spoken with my ex-wife yet Detective?"
"Not yet, all in good time."
"Can I ask, when was the last time you saw your Mother-in-law?"
"I dunno,... erm no wait, it was about a week ago, I met with Dot, we sorted our issues and arranged my having time with the kids. Dot and I had agreed to put the past behind us and move on, she was there then."
"Did she say anything to you? anything threatening?"
"Nah, she just sat silent and glared at me the whole time. I guessed she was just there for her daughter."
"I see. well Mrs Hurley has a lot of venom for you Mr Bongiovi, she has told all about your.... erm how can I put this... your unfaithfulness to her daughter. She repeatedly said you had to pay for the hurt."
"So, how are things with your ex-wife now?"
"well. they were good until last night. but I'd rather not talk about it."
"Mr Bongiovi, I have to insist, especially if this could bear any information to the investigation."
from the piano, Richie spoke.
"Detective, its very delicate and personal between Jon and Dot, can't you leave it?"
"I'm sorry, Mr Sambora right?"
"Yeah"
"we need to obtain as much information as possible, we need to establish that Mrs Hurley acted on just her impulses and did not have the collaboration of her daughter too."
"Rich, its ok man, I'll tell him."
"last night detective, I grabbed take out for the family, Dot had been kind enough to let me go there after the hospital and see the kids, she offered me the guest room. given I had not slept for 48 hours I was happy to accept."
"ok, normal so far... continue."
"after we had ate, we went to the theatre room, the kids wanted to watch a movie. I was so whacked I don't remember anymore, other than I woke up in the guest room this morning in my shorts."
"How did you get into the guest room?"
"My son, Jessie, told me he and his mom carried me to bed."
"So your wife I guess undressed you to your shorts?."
"Yeah"
"So what happened for you to say, it was ok until last night, please explain?"
"well..."
"Yeah, in your own time sir."
"Detective, this is very delicate, it involves my son, can you give me your assurance you won't question him? he's so young, what he witnessed has really traumatised him?"
"I can make no guarantee's Mr Bongiovi, especially as it relates directly to my investigation."
I looked at Richie."
" Go ahead, Tell him bro."
"ok, sighing deeply I continued.." my son told me that my ex wife had agreed to undress me, given the length on time she was away, Jessie went upstairs to the guest room, he saw my ex wife with her hands in my shorts, .... she was masturbating me while I slept."
I held my head in shame, again I had failed to protect my kids, man I was one fucked up failure. Mara, Dot and now Jess... who would be next...
" What did you do when your son told you?"
"well, I tried to reassure him, what he had told me was fine and that I would address it with his mom, I asked him not to tell his sister and his brother."
"Did you talk to Mrs Bongiovi?"
"Yeah."
"What was the response?"
"She told she still fancied me, and wanted me."
"How did you react to that?"
"I told her she was crazy, and what she had done was illegal."
"Did you report it?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Detective, being well known I did not want that kind of information to become public."
"How would that become public?, confidentiality is paramount Mr Bongiovi."
"Yeah, everything is Detective, but it always finds a way out. It was not something I want to subject my kids to reading about."
"understandable, and I can only speak for my professionalism, and assure you that the discussion we are having between you and I and my colleague Pat Bryan, will never be repeated in public,"
the other Detective gave me his reassurance too.
"So please continue sir?"
"Well after, I kinda flipped, lost my temper and collected my bags and the kids and tried to leave."
"tried to leave?"
"Yeah, more heated words were exchanged between us outside, she really could not see that she had done anything wrong. I said some pretty awful things, so she asked me to go back inside to talk so we did not part on hostile terms."
"Did you go back inside with Mrs Bongiovi?"
"Yeah, into the office."
"Yes?"
"she started to explain about her affair and how sorry she was she had hurt me, I thought she was going to apologise for her actions the night before, but she didn't, I had heard enough of her bullshit so I tried to leave. next thing I know I am floored and she is on top trying to kiss me. I managed to get her off and leave, but she must have dug her nails into my neck and cut me as I walked out."
"So, you did part on hostile terms?"
"Yeah, guess so."
"is that all?"
"Yeah, that's everything Detective."
" ok, well Thank you, for your time Mr Bongiovi I will leave now, but I will be in touch again as soon as I have more developments. Don't bother showing us out, we can find our own way... Mr sambora.."
With that the Detectives left us alone.
"What the fuck Richie? Have we heard right? Dots Mom?"
Sunday, 16 June 2013
Chapter 27 - Thorn In My Side
Chapter 27 Thorn in My Side
Just getting ready to set off to the harbour my cell rang, answering it....
"Mr Bongiovi, Its Detective Aaron Ross, Sir, sorry to trouble you so early but I have some information for you regarding the Camaro,"
"Yeah I'm listening, go ahead."
" I don't want to talk about it on the phone; could we meet? "
"Well, I am just heading out with my family detective, are you sure you can't tell me over the phone?"
"I'd rather not Mr Bongiovi, it's kind of delicate, look if I leave the office now I should be with you in about an hour, we should be done in about 50 minutes if all goes to plan, but as I say I really need to meet with you give you this information in person."
" Goes to plan?, what do you mean?"
"What I say Mr Bongiovi."
"Can't you tell me something Detective, please my head is all over the place."
"it's bizarre to say the least Mr Bongiovi, but events have unfolded and the owner of the Camaro is you. the vehicle is registered in your name......
"What?, how can that be?"
" Look, lets leave it there, I'll leave now and will be with you shortly, we can discuss this at length when I get there"
"Ok, detective see you in an hour."
"Bye"
I sat stunned, how the hell could the Camaro be registered to me, I had never owned a car like that. Richie looked across.
"Jon, man is everything ok? you look worried, talk to me bud"
"What, erm... yeah, everything's fine;"......a deep sigh escaped my lips as I spoke. I felt tired and drained, I needed help.
" erm no what Rich, everything's not ok, who the fuck am I trying to kid, this is one fucked up mess, it's freaking me out and I honest to god don't know what to do for the best. I try, but whatever I do, ends up as a bigger pile of shit"
I looked out of the windshield staring straight ahead. my hands clenched around the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were white.
"Jon, explain.. c'mon, let me help"
"I can't Rich, not with the kids here."
"So, where Jon, man whatever this is, you can't keep it bottled up." pausing for a minute before he continued...
" Hey, I have an idea. my housekeeper is at mine today, why don't we go drop off the kids just for a while, they can have fun round the pool and shit, and we can collect them later?, I don't wanna pry Jon, but honestly you look like shit and I reckon you need some bro time?"
" c'mon Jon, you owe yourself that much right? I'm sure the kids are good for that," turning behind to talk to the kids they all agreed that they were happy to spend time over at Richie's until I had finished my meeting with the detective.
I looked at Richie, and smiled,relenting, partly out of exhaustion and partly out of gratitude.
Apologising to my kids I drove them over to Richie's. Once they were safely in his yard round the pool with Hilary, I drove us both over to mine.
"So talk bro"
"Give me a minute Rich, I'm trying to think where to start."
"The beginning is a good place."
"All right smart ass, I know that, but it's complicated Rich."
"Everything is in the life of Jon Bon Jovi" He laughed trying to lighten the mood.
"Seriously Rich, this is some serious fucked up shit, man I am outta my depth here."
"So, tell me."
" a few weeks ago, Mara and I had been out, getting me some new clothes after dropping the weight, ... I first noticed a red Camaro that was parked at the end of my drive. I thought it could be a fan, but something in my gut told me it wasn't, then I saw it a few times more and then it started following me around. The blonde driver looked familiar too, but damn if I could remember or place the face with a name"
"Stalker huh?"
" yeah, I kinda guessed that too, but after Mara and I had been out on Tuesday, I noticed it again. it had been parked at the end of the drive and as she left to head home it followed her., so grabbing my keys I jumped into the vette and followed behind. next thing I know I am parked on Mara's street seven cars behind the Camaro, then Mara's house goes up in flames, the Camaro and blonde driver are gone and Mara's is critical in hospital."
"so you think the driver had something to do with the fire?"
"I didn't know what to think Rich, that's why I went to the police."
"So the cops think its connected?"
"Whoa, slow down, when I got to the cops I was met by a detective to discuss what had been happening I thought I would have spoken to a regular officer, it turned out not, The Detective told me the Fire Chief suspected Arson so he was the officer on the case."
"Right, so?"
"So he is now coming out to see me, and he told me on the phone that the Camaro is registered in my name? Rich, I aint ever owned a Camaro. What the fuck is going on?"
"I dunno Jon, but lets see what the Detective has to say first shall we. I'm with ya all the way bro. and why the fuck didn't ya call me?"
"Thanks,... I dunno..... I didn't give it a thought I guess...."
"And what the fuck is going on with you and Dot? man that was some tension I sensed this morning dude. What's going down there, you leave with face like thunder and a deep scratch to your neck? no bullshite Jon, c'mon give"
It wasn't long before I had got us back to my place, I explained about what Dot had done, and that Jessie had seen what she had done too. In Richie way, he let out his opinion.
"Muther Fucker bitch. Man, what the fuck is wrong with her?, she makes a play for you.... while you sleep..... that is some serious fucked up women.... man, what are you gonna do about it?, you can't let this go jon?"
"I don't know , I'm thinking about it, with all this other shit too, I can't think straight right now. so you wanna beer?"
"Yeah."
opening the fridge I grabbed a bottle of beer and threw it to Richie, I grabbed a bottle of water. opening the the bottle and putting it to my lips I took a long drink. allowing the cold liquid to soothe my dry throat.
Apprehension filled my body. questions going over and over in my mind; how could the Camaro be registered to me? I did not own a Camaro..... I prayed the Detective would be able to shed some light on the circumstances.
"So, what next bro?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, when he discusses this shit with you, what are you gonna do?"
"I don't know what he is gonna say yet do I rich, I can't presume."
"Well, we know the car is registered to you, we gotta find out how?" Let's do things by elimination"
my head was pounding, I just wanted to hear what the Detective had to say before having to jump through hoops and Richie's conclusions.
"In good time bud. ok?"
Richie stopped,
"ok, whatever you say, your still the boss."
The doorbell rang, answering the door the detective walked into the lobby. After offering drinks of which were declined we went into the sitting room.
Just getting ready to set off to the harbour my cell rang, answering it....
"Mr Bongiovi, Its Detective Aaron Ross, Sir, sorry to trouble you so early but I have some information for you regarding the Camaro,"
"Yeah I'm listening, go ahead."
" I don't want to talk about it on the phone; could we meet? "
"Well, I am just heading out with my family detective, are you sure you can't tell me over the phone?"
"I'd rather not Mr Bongiovi, it's kind of delicate, look if I leave the office now I should be with you in about an hour, we should be done in about 50 minutes if all goes to plan, but as I say I really need to meet with you give you this information in person."
" Goes to plan?, what do you mean?"
"What I say Mr Bongiovi."
"Can't you tell me something Detective, please my head is all over the place."
"it's bizarre to say the least Mr Bongiovi, but events have unfolded and the owner of the Camaro is you. the vehicle is registered in your name......
"What?, how can that be?"
" Look, lets leave it there, I'll leave now and will be with you shortly, we can discuss this at length when I get there"
"Ok, detective see you in an hour."
"Bye"
I sat stunned, how the hell could the Camaro be registered to me, I had never owned a car like that. Richie looked across.
"Jon, man is everything ok? you look worried, talk to me bud"
"What, erm... yeah, everything's fine;"......a deep sigh escaped my lips as I spoke. I felt tired and drained, I needed help.
" erm no what Rich, everything's not ok, who the fuck am I trying to kid, this is one fucked up mess, it's freaking me out and I honest to god don't know what to do for the best. I try, but whatever I do, ends up as a bigger pile of shit"
I looked out of the windshield staring straight ahead. my hands clenched around the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were white.
"Jon, explain.. c'mon, let me help"
"I can't Rich, not with the kids here."
"So, where Jon, man whatever this is, you can't keep it bottled up." pausing for a minute before he continued...
" Hey, I have an idea. my housekeeper is at mine today, why don't we go drop off the kids just for a while, they can have fun round the pool and shit, and we can collect them later?, I don't wanna pry Jon, but honestly you look like shit and I reckon you need some bro time?"
" c'mon Jon, you owe yourself that much right? I'm sure the kids are good for that," turning behind to talk to the kids they all agreed that they were happy to spend time over at Richie's until I had finished my meeting with the detective.
I looked at Richie, and smiled,relenting, partly out of exhaustion and partly out of gratitude.
Apologising to my kids I drove them over to Richie's. Once they were safely in his yard round the pool with Hilary, I drove us both over to mine.
"So talk bro"
"Give me a minute Rich, I'm trying to think where to start."
"The beginning is a good place."
"All right smart ass, I know that, but it's complicated Rich."
"Everything is in the life of Jon Bon Jovi" He laughed trying to lighten the mood.
"Seriously Rich, this is some serious fucked up shit, man I am outta my depth here."
"So, tell me."
" a few weeks ago, Mara and I had been out, getting me some new clothes after dropping the weight, ... I first noticed a red Camaro that was parked at the end of my drive. I thought it could be a fan, but something in my gut told me it wasn't, then I saw it a few times more and then it started following me around. The blonde driver looked familiar too, but damn if I could remember or place the face with a name"
"Stalker huh?"
" yeah, I kinda guessed that too, but after Mara and I had been out on Tuesday, I noticed it again. it had been parked at the end of the drive and as she left to head home it followed her., so grabbing my keys I jumped into the vette and followed behind. next thing I know I am parked on Mara's street seven cars behind the Camaro, then Mara's house goes up in flames, the Camaro and blonde driver are gone and Mara's is critical in hospital."
"so you think the driver had something to do with the fire?"
"I didn't know what to think Rich, that's why I went to the police."
"So the cops think its connected?"
"Whoa, slow down, when I got to the cops I was met by a detective to discuss what had been happening I thought I would have spoken to a regular officer, it turned out not, The Detective told me the Fire Chief suspected Arson so he was the officer on the case."
"Right, so?"
"So he is now coming out to see me, and he told me on the phone that the Camaro is registered in my name? Rich, I aint ever owned a Camaro. What the fuck is going on?"
"I dunno Jon, but lets see what the Detective has to say first shall we. I'm with ya all the way bro. and why the fuck didn't ya call me?"
"Thanks,... I dunno..... I didn't give it a thought I guess...."
"And what the fuck is going on with you and Dot? man that was some tension I sensed this morning dude. What's going down there, you leave with face like thunder and a deep scratch to your neck? no bullshite Jon, c'mon give"
It wasn't long before I had got us back to my place, I explained about what Dot had done, and that Jessie had seen what she had done too. In Richie way, he let out his opinion.
"Muther Fucker bitch. Man, what the fuck is wrong with her?, she makes a play for you.... while you sleep..... that is some serious fucked up women.... man, what are you gonna do about it?, you can't let this go jon?"
"I don't know , I'm thinking about it, with all this other shit too, I can't think straight right now. so you wanna beer?"
"Yeah."
opening the fridge I grabbed a bottle of beer and threw it to Richie, I grabbed a bottle of water. opening the the bottle and putting it to my lips I took a long drink. allowing the cold liquid to soothe my dry throat.
Apprehension filled my body. questions going over and over in my mind; how could the Camaro be registered to me? I did not own a Camaro..... I prayed the Detective would be able to shed some light on the circumstances.
"So, what next bro?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, when he discusses this shit with you, what are you gonna do?"
"I don't know what he is gonna say yet do I rich, I can't presume."
"Well, we know the car is registered to you, we gotta find out how?" Let's do things by elimination"
my head was pounding, I just wanted to hear what the Detective had to say before having to jump through hoops and Richie's conclusions.
"In good time bud. ok?"
Richie stopped,
"ok, whatever you say, your still the boss."
The doorbell rang, answering the door the detective walked into the lobby. After offering drinks of which were declined we went into the sitting room.
Thursday, 13 June 2013
Chapter 26 - To The Fire
To The Fire
Once back upstairs in the guest room, I sat on the bed. Head in hands thinking over the events that Jess had endured because of Dot.
Fuck I was still struggling coming to terms with what she had done to me while I slept.
Questions kept jumping into my mind, wasn't what Dot done counter to rape? what should I do?, did I report Dot to the cops?, although would I want that to become public knowledge knowing the press they would find out by some source close to me, yada yada, no, I couldn't report this to the authorities, I had to deal with this myself, just as to how I had to think on.
Getting myself together, and off the bed I grabbed my knapsack and headed down the hallway to Jessie's room.
Knocking on his door I popped my head around the door to check he was ready,
"Yo Bud, you ready? "
"Sure pop, let me go get Steph and Jakey, meet ya downstairs in 5?"
"right"
Walking back along the hallway to go downstairs, my cell phone was ringing.
" Yo talk to me," yep ten minutes, bye."
Richie was ten minutes away with my SUV. I had rang Richie after speaking with my Mom and asked him to head over and collect the SUV and bring it to Dots so I could take the kids out for a couple of hours.
Walking through the lobby, Dot came out of the kitchen, "Jon?"
I blanked her and walked to my car. I wanted nothing to do with my ex wife. In the pit of my stomach I was repulsed by her actions I felt physically sick.
"Jon, fuck will you listen to me?" catching up with me she grabbed my arm. I turned round to look at her.
"Dot, please leave me alone. Go back inside, there is nothing more that we can say to each other, ok. I am taking the kids out. I will bring them back later."
"Jon, I need to make you understand."
"understand what? Dot you raped me."
"I didn't rape you?, stop exaggerating,Tuh"
"You played around with my dick while I slept, what would you call it?"
"I was trying to wake you in the most romantic way I could, I told you, I wanted you, I wanted to feel you again.... fuck we used to be married.... was it so wrong of me to fancy you and want you again?"
"If I had been awake and in control of my body maybe, but I wasn't and that amounts to rape."
"stop using that word its not rape."
"It was RAPE"
"You cannot rape a man, especially if they have an ardour, and my sweet you had an ardour, so whatever you want to say, you may not have been awake and functioning, but your dick was."
"Women you are fucking deranged, you need fucking help, serious help, you fucking well think because you succeeded in making my dick hard that I wanted you?, I was asleep, you are fucking crazy; why the fuck did I play around on you when we were married eh? have you ever asked yourself that question?, well?"
"no I didn't ask why because I never deserved that Jon...I..."
"Its all about you aint it? eh, well let me tell ya this sweetheart, I played around on you after coming home one time and seeing you in the boat house fucking your karate instructor, yeah, you thought your affair was secret?, well it fucking wasn't, yeah I knew, you broke me, from that point on the gloves were off and yeah I played the field and I had a fucking good time."
my body was tense with the anger that had risen inside of me. Pushing Dot away I walked over to the kids coming out of the house, breathing deep to calm down, I prayed to god they had not heard any of the conversation, Dot just stood staring at a loss for words.
looking along the drive I could see Richie turn in with the SUV.
"So kids, what's up first?"
From behind me Dorothea spoke.
"Jon, we can't leave it like this, please can we go inside, five minutes that's all I am asking."
I wasn't about to upset the kids so, I agreed while they stood chatting to Richie I would give Dot her five minutes.
Walking back into the house, and across to the office. Inside I closed the door.
"What now?"
"I'm sorry about my affair, I never meant to hurt you, it kinda just happened..."
"Whoa, hang on, you brought me in here to talk about your affair and the hurt?"
"Well, I....."
"No, stop already, what happened in the past is over, I don't care anymore, it hurt at the time, not now, Dot what I am fucking concerned about is that my kids saw what you did to me, has that even fucking sunk in with you?"
"But that's life, its normal for parents to be intimate..."
"What?, ok, I've heard enough... I'm outta here..."
Dot moved across the office to block the doorway and stop me leaving. I grabbed her arm to move her, and the next thing I know I am on the floor and she is sitting on top of me.
"Get the fuck off me women, what are you doing."
leaning forward my ex wife moved forward to kiss me, trying to part my lips with her tongue.
every sense in my body revolted at her touch, I drained my body for every ounce of strength I had and threw her from me, getting up I left the office and headed back outside to my kids and Richie.
"Yo man, good to see ya, hey what's the cut on your neck your bleeding bro" putting my hand to my neck, I felt the warm trickle of blood, "It's nothing,"
"Really it don't look nothing, but I'll not dig. so you driving the kids in the SUV right and I am driving the vette back to your pad eh?"
"Yeah, you ok with that bro?"
"Sure, maybe then you can tell me what the fuck is going on eh?"
"Sure, lets get things rolling eh."
turning to look at Jessie I motioned for him, steph and Jake to get into the SUV.
Giving Richie a hug I climbed into the drivers side and started the engine, pulling off down the drive I watched Richie get in the vette and follow behind.
I drove listening to the kids play fighting and chatting in back. somehow it made the day seem normal. I was able to put to the back of my mind what Dot had done and again tried to do to me in the office. unconsciously I kept putting my hand to my neck, the cut was deeper than I thought as it was still oozing.
"Dad, you ok?, what happened back at mom's?"
"nothing sweetheart, I must have caught myself on mom's ring as I said goodbye." I hated lying to my kids but what choice did I have.
I caught Jessie looking at me as I spoke to Steph. As we held eye contact, he shook his head and turned to look out of the window.
"it looks pretty deep dad" reaching into her purse, Steph brought out a linen handkerchief, she handed it too me to place on the cut to stem the blood flow.
"So dad, where are we going after we drop uncle Richie off?" "Anywhere you want, so what do you kids want to do?"
Excited cries called out....
"movie," "Shopping" and then "just spend time with you pop" then all three said, yeah just spend some time with you. We miss ya dad."
swallowing hard, I looked at my babies and decided today it would be us, just us, my house and a trip on my boat. I would get some food for us and maybe Richie would wanna join us too. yep! I think I had it planned and sorted.
"Ok, guys you got it. so how would ya feel about asking Uncle Richie to join us?"
"Yeah, all three voices chorused together."
"Ok, who wants to ask him?"
"We all will, he can't refuse then." Steph was looking at me through the rear view with a saucy look on her face."
"Stephanie Rose BonGiovi, have you got the hots for your ol uncle Richie?"
"Daaadddddddd," no more needed to be said as her colour told the story. I just chuckled quietly to myself. What it was to have an innocent crush.
The banter started again in the back, "Ewww Steph, you fancy someone old enough to be your dad, gross"
"Guys, ok, c'mon stop embarrassing your sister."
" but pop,"
"But nothing Jessie James, stop already."
"Sorry Pop."
indicating at the next junction and with Richie still behind, 100 yards along I pulled into my drive.
I would spend the next 4 hours with my kids and best friend before having to hit back to cold reality and see my beautiful Mara. I needed to make a couple of calls but I was sure it would all be good.
Once out of the car the kids stood fighting as Richie pulled up too, getting outta the car Steph rand over and asked him if he wanted to join us on the boat. Richie looked across at me.
"You ok with that Jon?"
"Sure, it was my idea, that is if ya aint got anything else planned."
"nah, I was just gonna run through some songs I am working on, but its nothing that cant wait. I'd love to join ya all."
Moving us all inside the house I went into the bathroom and tended to the cut on my neck. from the look of it, when I pushed Dot off me she had dug her finger nails into my neck and ripped the skin. the blood had stopped flowing and with iodine and a band aid I was good to go! and yeah it hurt like fuck!
I made my phone call to my mom and spoke to Mara, she sounded so much brighter. with the promise I would see her later, and thanking my mom, I was good to go.
First stop would be to the grocery store for food, after years of not being able to see my kids, finally I could. Looking at Richie; It sunk in he was my best friend, and right now I needed him more than I cared to admit.
Shutting the door to my house, all of us in the SUV I started the engine and we set off for the store and the harbour.
Once back upstairs in the guest room, I sat on the bed. Head in hands thinking over the events that Jess had endured because of Dot.
Fuck I was still struggling coming to terms with what she had done to me while I slept.
Questions kept jumping into my mind, wasn't what Dot done counter to rape? what should I do?, did I report Dot to the cops?, although would I want that to become public knowledge knowing the press they would find out by some source close to me, yada yada, no, I couldn't report this to the authorities, I had to deal with this myself, just as to how I had to think on.
Getting myself together, and off the bed I grabbed my knapsack and headed down the hallway to Jessie's room.
Knocking on his door I popped my head around the door to check he was ready,
"Yo Bud, you ready? "
"Sure pop, let me go get Steph and Jakey, meet ya downstairs in 5?"
"right"
Walking back along the hallway to go downstairs, my cell phone was ringing.
" Yo talk to me," yep ten minutes, bye."
Richie was ten minutes away with my SUV. I had rang Richie after speaking with my Mom and asked him to head over and collect the SUV and bring it to Dots so I could take the kids out for a couple of hours.
Walking through the lobby, Dot came out of the kitchen, "Jon?"
I blanked her and walked to my car. I wanted nothing to do with my ex wife. In the pit of my stomach I was repulsed by her actions I felt physically sick.
"Jon, fuck will you listen to me?" catching up with me she grabbed my arm. I turned round to look at her.
"Dot, please leave me alone. Go back inside, there is nothing more that we can say to each other, ok. I am taking the kids out. I will bring them back later."
"Jon, I need to make you understand."
"understand what? Dot you raped me."
"I didn't rape you?, stop exaggerating,Tuh"
"You played around with my dick while I slept, what would you call it?"
"I was trying to wake you in the most romantic way I could, I told you, I wanted you, I wanted to feel you again.... fuck we used to be married.... was it so wrong of me to fancy you and want you again?"
"If I had been awake and in control of my body maybe, but I wasn't and that amounts to rape."
"stop using that word its not rape."
"It was RAPE"
"You cannot rape a man, especially if they have an ardour, and my sweet you had an ardour, so whatever you want to say, you may not have been awake and functioning, but your dick was."
"Women you are fucking deranged, you need fucking help, serious help, you fucking well think because you succeeded in making my dick hard that I wanted you?, I was asleep, you are fucking crazy; why the fuck did I play around on you when we were married eh? have you ever asked yourself that question?, well?"
"no I didn't ask why because I never deserved that Jon...I..."
"Its all about you aint it? eh, well let me tell ya this sweetheart, I played around on you after coming home one time and seeing you in the boat house fucking your karate instructor, yeah, you thought your affair was secret?, well it fucking wasn't, yeah I knew, you broke me, from that point on the gloves were off and yeah I played the field and I had a fucking good time."
my body was tense with the anger that had risen inside of me. Pushing Dot away I walked over to the kids coming out of the house, breathing deep to calm down, I prayed to god they had not heard any of the conversation, Dot just stood staring at a loss for words.
looking along the drive I could see Richie turn in with the SUV.
"So kids, what's up first?"
From behind me Dorothea spoke.
"Jon, we can't leave it like this, please can we go inside, five minutes that's all I am asking."
I wasn't about to upset the kids so, I agreed while they stood chatting to Richie I would give Dot her five minutes.
Walking back into the house, and across to the office. Inside I closed the door.
"What now?"
"I'm sorry about my affair, I never meant to hurt you, it kinda just happened..."
"Whoa, hang on, you brought me in here to talk about your affair and the hurt?"
"Well, I....."
"No, stop already, what happened in the past is over, I don't care anymore, it hurt at the time, not now, Dot what I am fucking concerned about is that my kids saw what you did to me, has that even fucking sunk in with you?"
"But that's life, its normal for parents to be intimate..."
"What?, ok, I've heard enough... I'm outta here..."
Dot moved across the office to block the doorway and stop me leaving. I grabbed her arm to move her, and the next thing I know I am on the floor and she is sitting on top of me.
"Get the fuck off me women, what are you doing."
leaning forward my ex wife moved forward to kiss me, trying to part my lips with her tongue.
every sense in my body revolted at her touch, I drained my body for every ounce of strength I had and threw her from me, getting up I left the office and headed back outside to my kids and Richie.
"Yo man, good to see ya, hey what's the cut on your neck your bleeding bro" putting my hand to my neck, I felt the warm trickle of blood, "It's nothing,"
"Really it don't look nothing, but I'll not dig. so you driving the kids in the SUV right and I am driving the vette back to your pad eh?"
"Yeah, you ok with that bro?"
"Sure, maybe then you can tell me what the fuck is going on eh?"
"Sure, lets get things rolling eh."
turning to look at Jessie I motioned for him, steph and Jake to get into the SUV.
Giving Richie a hug I climbed into the drivers side and started the engine, pulling off down the drive I watched Richie get in the vette and follow behind.
I drove listening to the kids play fighting and chatting in back. somehow it made the day seem normal. I was able to put to the back of my mind what Dot had done and again tried to do to me in the office. unconsciously I kept putting my hand to my neck, the cut was deeper than I thought as it was still oozing.
"Dad, you ok?, what happened back at mom's?"
"nothing sweetheart, I must have caught myself on mom's ring as I said goodbye." I hated lying to my kids but what choice did I have.
I caught Jessie looking at me as I spoke to Steph. As we held eye contact, he shook his head and turned to look out of the window.
"it looks pretty deep dad" reaching into her purse, Steph brought out a linen handkerchief, she handed it too me to place on the cut to stem the blood flow.
"So dad, where are we going after we drop uncle Richie off?" "Anywhere you want, so what do you kids want to do?"
Excited cries called out....
"movie," "Shopping" and then "just spend time with you pop" then all three said, yeah just spend some time with you. We miss ya dad."
swallowing hard, I looked at my babies and decided today it would be us, just us, my house and a trip on my boat. I would get some food for us and maybe Richie would wanna join us too. yep! I think I had it planned and sorted.
"Ok, guys you got it. so how would ya feel about asking Uncle Richie to join us?"
"Yeah, all three voices chorused together."
"Ok, who wants to ask him?"
"We all will, he can't refuse then." Steph was looking at me through the rear view with a saucy look on her face."
"Stephanie Rose BonGiovi, have you got the hots for your ol uncle Richie?"
"Daaadddddddd," no more needed to be said as her colour told the story. I just chuckled quietly to myself. What it was to have an innocent crush.
The banter started again in the back, "Ewww Steph, you fancy someone old enough to be your dad, gross"
"Guys, ok, c'mon stop embarrassing your sister."
" but pop,"
"But nothing Jessie James, stop already."
"Sorry Pop."
indicating at the next junction and with Richie still behind, 100 yards along I pulled into my drive.
I would spend the next 4 hours with my kids and best friend before having to hit back to cold reality and see my beautiful Mara. I needed to make a couple of calls but I was sure it would all be good.
Once out of the car the kids stood fighting as Richie pulled up too, getting outta the car Steph rand over and asked him if he wanted to join us on the boat. Richie looked across at me.
"You ok with that Jon?"
"Sure, it was my idea, that is if ya aint got anything else planned."
"nah, I was just gonna run through some songs I am working on, but its nothing that cant wait. I'd love to join ya all."
Moving us all inside the house I went into the bathroom and tended to the cut on my neck. from the look of it, when I pushed Dot off me she had dug her finger nails into my neck and ripped the skin. the blood had stopped flowing and with iodine and a band aid I was good to go! and yeah it hurt like fuck!
I made my phone call to my mom and spoke to Mara, she sounded so much brighter. with the promise I would see her later, and thanking my mom, I was good to go.
First stop would be to the grocery store for food, after years of not being able to see my kids, finally I could. Looking at Richie; It sunk in he was my best friend, and right now I needed him more than I cared to admit.
Shutting the door to my house, all of us in the SUV I started the engine and we set off for the store and the harbour.
Friday, 7 June 2013
The Hardest Part is the Night
Chapter 25
Leaving the kitchen and walking up the stairway back to the guest room, I grabbed a knapsack from the den to put my dirty laundry and other clothes in that I had found lying around. They didn't quite fit me yet, but would.
Before heading back to see Mara I needed to head back home and grab a few things and make reservations at a local motel to cut the travelling time. I figured I could ask Jessie to surf the net and get me the best place, knowing my mind and computers, urghhh I just didn't get the hype! I had no urge or desire to search the so called world wide web. Why the fuck did technology have to change. I was happy with vinyl and newspapers, and video's, what the fuck are DVD's anyway, bad enough vinyl was dead and had been replaced by CD..... my mind continued to wonder as I carried on collecting my clothes, down stairs, the sounds of Dottie sobbing, could still be heard.
Questioning myself, what the fuck had I done to make her think I wanted to try with her again?.
Was the reason because I had agreed to stop over?, can't be, I took the guest room, was it because I got the take out for us all, and we sat together eating as a family?, nope, racking my brains I kept searching for the answer but came up blank, while packing in a world of my own, my thoughts were interrupted by a gentle knocking on my door. As the door opened, I turned to see Jessie standing before me.
"Hey pop, you sleep well?"
Yeah, you know I did, what's up?"
"Yeah, sorry, ..... Pop there's something I think you need to know.... I've been thinking about it all morning...well all night... . "
I watched Jessie trying to talk, he was really struggling to explain what he wanted to say. Sitting on the bed I patted beside me for him to sit with me. Jessie, walked across the room and sat.
"What is it?"
"Pop,..... last night......"
"Yeah,"
"Well, ...... god this is hard,.... it's embarrassing...... shit...."
"What is? Jess if ya don't tell ya ol man, I can't help ya?, c'mon take a deep breath and just say it?"
Putting my arm on Jessie's back, I encouraged him to say what was troubling him.
"Ok, dad, I'm guessing hearing Mom crying she has told you right?,"
"your mom has told me, she wants us to try again; but Jess, I can't do that. I have moved on, and this is hard to say, especially to you son, but I love your Mom, but I am in love with someone else. I told yer Mom as gently as I could and that's why she is crying. I am sorry, the last thing I wanted was to upset your Mom..."
"Dad, stop, that's not it...it's not you, it's Mom, that's what I am trying to tell you."
confused, I had no idea what my eldest son was trying to tell me, when he did, I was not prepared for what I heard.
"Pop, last night, after we carried you to bed, mom and me that is, we laid you on the bed and mom said she would get you ready for bed and meet us back downstairs for the movie. Steph, Jake and me headed back off back to the theatre room and left mom with you. She was with you for about an hour, I'm guessing. Some time later I headed to the kitchen and was fixing to get some juice for Steph, me and jakey. I thought I'd just check on Mom as she had been gone so long. I called up to see if she was ok and needed a drink too. She didn't answer, so I walked back upstairs, back to the guest room.
when I got there the door was slightly open, and as I went to walk in I saw Mom....."
"Saw mom?"
"Yeah, I saw mom, she was...."
"She was what?"
"Mom, she was.... jeez, how can I say this...."
"Just say it Jess"
"ok, she had her hand in your shorts, she was masturbating you..... while you slept.....pop, I'm sorry, I aint slept, I kept thinking I should have shouted at her, done something, but I was stunned. I,I,I really did not know what to do."
I sat shocked, and looking at my son and digesting what he had just told me.
Jessie, was sitting with his leg under his butt, his head down in shame, looking at his hands resting on his thighs. lifting his chin I got him to look at me.
"Jess, its ok really, thanks bud, that couldn't have been easy for you. I will have a word with ya Mom and don't worry ok, Just promise me, you won't tell Steph and Jakey about any of this ok?"
"Sure pop."
Getting off the bed Jess walked to the door and turned to look at me, "Pop, can we spend some time with you today?"
"Sure, I was gonna do some shopping, you and the guys wanna join me?"
"Yeah great, I'll let um know to get ready."
Leaving my room, I just sat thinking on what my son had told me. Shock ran through my body. Could Jess have been mistaken?, Could Dot really have stooped so low?, Had I encouraged her to have behaved in that way? had dot lost all sense of reason? Was she paying me back for all the hurt in the past? What the fuck.... the more I thought the madder I was getting. I had to talk to Dot.
Leaving the guest room I headed back down stairs to the kitchen. Dot was stood at the sink. Still the tears were falling.
"Dot?"
She jumped and turned around to look at me. "Jon" Her eye's were red and swollen from crying.
"We need to talk"
wiping her eye's with a paper tissue,
"Sure, what is it?"
"Dot last night, what happened?"
"what do you mean?"
"I mean what happened, one minute I am sat with you guy's, this morning I wake up in the guest room, stripped down to just my shorts, what happened."
"Really? you are asking me that?,"
"Yeah... tell me"
"It's simple, Jess and me carried you to bed I thought you would have figured that out already."
"Yeah, who undressed me Dot?"
"We did."
"We?"
"Yeah, Jon what are you getting at?"
"I'm just asking?, you let my kids undress me?"
"Well no.... not exactly"
"not exactly, so... what then?"
"I undressed you and covered you over with the blanket. What's the problem Jon?, we did used to be married"
"Yeah we did,.... but was putting your hands down my shorts while I slept acceptable too Dot?"
Dot sat looking at me shocked and stunned at what I had said.
"You, you, know about that?..... Jon, I am sorry.... you were asleep.... I know I should not have done that.... but.... well... I wanted you.... I wanted to share your body last night....I...."
"While I slept Dot? you wanted to sleep with me while I slept?"
"Jon, I know I was wrong?"
"Oh you know you were wrong do you? So what the fuck were you playing at? Do you wanna scar our kids for life?"
"I-I-I-I Don't... what do you mean scar the kids for life?"
"What I say Dot, one of our kids saw you."
"How?....your lying"
"Dot seriously?, I'm lying? how the fuck would I know what you were doing I was asleep. Dot one of our kids saw what you did to me. let me tell you I am fucking pissed right now. Pissed at what my kids told me, and pissed at you for what you did to me."
walking back to the kitchen door, I turned back to look at Dot. She stood still shocked at what I had told her.
I said nothing more and headed up stair's to grab my bag and the kids. Dot's voice could be heard as I left. "Jon, I am sorry, what are you gonna do? Jon, Jon,Jon"
I ignored her and carried on climbing the stairs.
Leaving the kitchen and walking up the stairway back to the guest room, I grabbed a knapsack from the den to put my dirty laundry and other clothes in that I had found lying around. They didn't quite fit me yet, but would.
Before heading back to see Mara I needed to head back home and grab a few things and make reservations at a local motel to cut the travelling time. I figured I could ask Jessie to surf the net and get me the best place, knowing my mind and computers, urghhh I just didn't get the hype! I had no urge or desire to search the so called world wide web. Why the fuck did technology have to change. I was happy with vinyl and newspapers, and video's, what the fuck are DVD's anyway, bad enough vinyl was dead and had been replaced by CD..... my mind continued to wonder as I carried on collecting my clothes, down stairs, the sounds of Dottie sobbing, could still be heard.
Questioning myself, what the fuck had I done to make her think I wanted to try with her again?.
Was the reason because I had agreed to stop over?, can't be, I took the guest room, was it because I got the take out for us all, and we sat together eating as a family?, nope, racking my brains I kept searching for the answer but came up blank, while packing in a world of my own, my thoughts were interrupted by a gentle knocking on my door. As the door opened, I turned to see Jessie standing before me.
"Hey pop, you sleep well?"
Yeah, you know I did, what's up?"
"Yeah, sorry, ..... Pop there's something I think you need to know.... I've been thinking about it all morning...well all night... . "
I watched Jessie trying to talk, he was really struggling to explain what he wanted to say. Sitting on the bed I patted beside me for him to sit with me. Jessie, walked across the room and sat.
"What is it?"
"Pop,..... last night......"
"Yeah,"
"Well, ...... god this is hard,.... it's embarrassing...... shit...."
"What is? Jess if ya don't tell ya ol man, I can't help ya?, c'mon take a deep breath and just say it?"
Putting my arm on Jessie's back, I encouraged him to say what was troubling him.
"Ok, dad, I'm guessing hearing Mom crying she has told you right?,"
"your mom has told me, she wants us to try again; but Jess, I can't do that. I have moved on, and this is hard to say, especially to you son, but I love your Mom, but I am in love with someone else. I told yer Mom as gently as I could and that's why she is crying. I am sorry, the last thing I wanted was to upset your Mom..."
"Dad, stop, that's not it...it's not you, it's Mom, that's what I am trying to tell you."
confused, I had no idea what my eldest son was trying to tell me, when he did, I was not prepared for what I heard.
"Pop, last night, after we carried you to bed, mom and me that is, we laid you on the bed and mom said she would get you ready for bed and meet us back downstairs for the movie. Steph, Jake and me headed back off back to the theatre room and left mom with you. She was with you for about an hour, I'm guessing. Some time later I headed to the kitchen and was fixing to get some juice for Steph, me and jakey. I thought I'd just check on Mom as she had been gone so long. I called up to see if she was ok and needed a drink too. She didn't answer, so I walked back upstairs, back to the guest room.
when I got there the door was slightly open, and as I went to walk in I saw Mom....."
"Saw mom?"
"Yeah, I saw mom, she was...."
"She was what?"
"Mom, she was.... jeez, how can I say this...."
"Just say it Jess"
"ok, she had her hand in your shorts, she was masturbating you..... while you slept.....pop, I'm sorry, I aint slept, I kept thinking I should have shouted at her, done something, but I was stunned. I,I,I really did not know what to do."
I sat shocked, and looking at my son and digesting what he had just told me.
Jessie, was sitting with his leg under his butt, his head down in shame, looking at his hands resting on his thighs. lifting his chin I got him to look at me.
"Jess, its ok really, thanks bud, that couldn't have been easy for you. I will have a word with ya Mom and don't worry ok, Just promise me, you won't tell Steph and Jakey about any of this ok?"
"Sure pop."
Getting off the bed Jess walked to the door and turned to look at me, "Pop, can we spend some time with you today?"
"Sure, I was gonna do some shopping, you and the guys wanna join me?"
"Yeah great, I'll let um know to get ready."
Leaving my room, I just sat thinking on what my son had told me. Shock ran through my body. Could Jess have been mistaken?, Could Dot really have stooped so low?, Had I encouraged her to have behaved in that way? had dot lost all sense of reason? Was she paying me back for all the hurt in the past? What the fuck.... the more I thought the madder I was getting. I had to talk to Dot.
Leaving the guest room I headed back down stairs to the kitchen. Dot was stood at the sink. Still the tears were falling.
"Dot?"
She jumped and turned around to look at me. "Jon" Her eye's were red and swollen from crying.
"We need to talk"
wiping her eye's with a paper tissue,
"Sure, what is it?"
"Dot last night, what happened?"
"what do you mean?"
"I mean what happened, one minute I am sat with you guy's, this morning I wake up in the guest room, stripped down to just my shorts, what happened."
"Really? you are asking me that?,"
"Yeah... tell me"
"It's simple, Jess and me carried you to bed I thought you would have figured that out already."
"Yeah, who undressed me Dot?"
"We did."
"We?"
"Yeah, Jon what are you getting at?"
"I'm just asking?, you let my kids undress me?"
"Well no.... not exactly"
"not exactly, so... what then?"
"I undressed you and covered you over with the blanket. What's the problem Jon?, we did used to be married"
"Yeah we did,.... but was putting your hands down my shorts while I slept acceptable too Dot?"
Dot sat looking at me shocked and stunned at what I had said.
"You, you, know about that?..... Jon, I am sorry.... you were asleep.... I know I should not have done that.... but.... well... I wanted you.... I wanted to share your body last night....I...."
"While I slept Dot? you wanted to sleep with me while I slept?"
"Jon, I know I was wrong?"
"Oh you know you were wrong do you? So what the fuck were you playing at? Do you wanna scar our kids for life?"
"I-I-I-I Don't... what do you mean scar the kids for life?"
"What I say Dot, one of our kids saw you."
"How?....your lying"
"Dot seriously?, I'm lying? how the fuck would I know what you were doing I was asleep. Dot one of our kids saw what you did to me. let me tell you I am fucking pissed right now. Pissed at what my kids told me, and pissed at you for what you did to me."
walking back to the kitchen door, I turned back to look at Dot. She stood still shocked at what I had told her.
I said nothing more and headed up stair's to grab my bag and the kids. Dot's voice could be heard as I left. "Jon, I am sorry, what are you gonna do? Jon, Jon,Jon"
I ignored her and carried on climbing the stairs.
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
Ill sleep when I'm dead!
Chapter 25
My Mom and Ruth both agreed, and Mara too that I should go see the kids and get some rest. I had to admit I was bushed and sleep was fast becoming my new best friend. I agreed that I would call and see the kids, but not collect them. given my lack of sleep for 48 hours I could not trust myself to be a safe driver. It was gonna take ounce of strength to keep my eye's open to drive back home.
Kissing Mara, my temporary good bye, with a promise to return the next day, I dragged my ass out of the hospital and over to my car in the parking lot.
I checked my refection in the mirror and was met with a stranger looking back at me. my eye's had sunk and were blood shot, my skin pale. The stress and lack of sleep had certainly taken their toll on my exhausted body. rubbing my face and eye's to try and bring some life back to my face, with no joy, I slipped my cell into the hands free cradle and dialled Dots number. The phone rang once, before Dot answered....
"Jon, how's things?"
"good, Dot, everything is looking good, listen I'm just about to leave, but Dot, I am exhausted, I can't trust myself to drive with the kids in the car, so I was thinking and hoping you'd agree, how about I call to yours and spend the evening with you and the kids and grab some take out for us all, then I can drive home after, would that be ok?"
" yeah, that's fine Jon, I was worried when you said you would collect them, especially as you aint slept for two days,...." The phone fell silent for a second, then Dot spoke again... "tell ya what Jon, I've got an even better idea, why don't you stop over in the guest room?, that way after you have eaten you can just drag your body up to bed, then tomorrow you could spend some time with the kids before heading back off to see Mara? how's that sound?"
" Great I'll buy that, So what kinda take out do you and the kids want?" Dot shouted out to the kids and I could hear their voices all shouting different things. dot came back on the phone and said, get Pizza Jon, Hawaiian, margarita, pepperoni, you know the stuff, bring some cheese melts too and coke ok?"
"Ok, got it! see ya in an hour."
hanging up from the call, I started the engine and the long drive back. opening windows and blasting the air con to keep me from falling asleep at the wheel.
Mile after mile rolled by, a couple of times I had to shake my head when my eye's started to close, thank fully somehow I made it to Dot's, collecting the take out as the guys wanted.
Fifteen minutes from the Pizza parlour I pulled up on Dot's drive.
Before the engine had died, the front door flew open and the kids rushed out to greet me.
My car door was open and in seconds I was surrounded by my babies, I don't know if it was the relief of the last two days whole events, or just seeing the kids, but I was really choked and thanked god for everything and everyone in my life, for giving me a second chance to make things right..
Getting out of the car, I stood next to my eldest son, Jesse; he had grown so much since I last saw him, he stood shoulder to shoulder with me, and Stephanie was growing into a beautiful young women, Jake, was a little tyke, with the energy of a tiger. I hugged them all together then each in turn. I felt the luckiest man in the world.
Grabbing the Pizza's and the drinks from the passenger seat we headed inside and ate in the breakfast nook in the kitchen.
Sitting around the table, it was so good listening to the kids and the chatter, it reminded me of the good times that Dot and I had shared together, and as a family.
After dinner, the kids wanted to watch a movie so we headed over to the theatre room, nothing had changed, everything was as I remembered, Dot started the movie as we all sat, Jake on my knee, Stephanie sat to my right and Jesse to my left, with Dot sat next to him. What happened in the movie or what the movie was about I could not tell ya. I'm guessing I crashed out, as when I woke I was in the guest room, in bed and wearing just my shorts, with my clothes folded neatly on the chair by the dresser.
Waking from my sleep, my first call of the day, was to my Mom to check on Mara.
"Hey Mom, how's Mara?"
"Morning, Jon, Mara is sleeping right now, the Dr's gave her some tramadol pain relief last night. They must have done the job, as she has not moved all night."
"How's Ruth? is she holding out ok?"
"Ruth is fine, The Dr's have given us a private room so each of us can sleep and take turns being with Mara. So how are the kids, did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, they are great, we had a nice night, what I can remember of it."
"You didn't get drunk did you?"
"No Mom, I crashed out that's all, I'm getting up now and I'm gonna spend an hour or so with the kids before coming back to the hospital, can you tell Mara if she wakes that I will see her later?"
"Sure hon, how are my Granbabies?"
"They are all fine, all growing up, Jesse is nearly as tall as I am, but then that aint difficult is it, I aint exactly stocking in the height department am I?."
my mom laughed at my comment, "No son, it's your pop's fault, so how are Stephanie and Jacob?"
"Steph is a beautiful ma, and Jake, well he's a live wire, full of energy, and so cute."
"Tell them Grannie Bongiovi say's hi, and that I love them all and I will see them all really soon, and that I miss them, will ya?"
"Yeah, sure ma, no worries, right look, I'm gonna go now and, but I will ring ya later as I leave, love ya mom."
"Love ya too son.bye."
returning my phone to the night stand, I finally swung my legs outta bed, stretching as I stood, opening the drapes, the sun was shone through the window, walking to the chair and pulling on my pants and t-shirt, and running my fingers through my hair, I left the bedroom and headed down stairs.
Happy voices could be heard as I walked through the hallway to the breakfast nook.
"morning dad, did you sleep well?"
"Morning sweetheart, yeah, thanks I slept really well, you?"
"Yeah, I always sleep well except Jesse thought it was cool to play his music until late, can you tell him"
"Sure, I'll talk to him, so, what happened last night? I remember sitting with you all and then this morning I wake up in bed? so, who carried me to bed?"
"Jesse, and Mom, the film had just started and within minutes you were out cold. So we thought we'd take you to bed and let you rest. Jake helped to, not carrying you, but turning down the bed, opening doors and stuff. so,.... Dad, can I ask you something? Its personal and you don't have to answer if you don't want. but I'm curious I need to know.... "
"Sure, sweetheart, what is it?"
"Who is Mara?"
"Mara is a very close friend of mine."
"how close?, Mom say's she is your girlfriend, is that true?"
"yes steph she is."
"Oh."
"Whats wrong steph?"
"Nothin"
"C'mon, tell me, there is something, or you wouldn't be asking me questions. C'mon, talk to me steph."
"Well, when you and Mom broke up, it was in the papers about you and this women,... and well, we need to know, will we be reading stuff like that again? reading those stories dad, ... well it killed me, .... and Jesse It broke our hearts, and you really hurt Mom too."
"No, sweetheart, it will be nothing like that, your Mom and me are all sorted,we are friends again, I know what happened was wrong and painful, but that is all in the past, we are moving on, all of us as a family. sweetheart please believe me, when I say, I am really sorry for all the pain I caused last time, I know I can't change the past, but I can change our future. I want to be part of your lives Steph. I want to be the Dad you want me to be. Will you forgive me? let us try again? " I waited holding my breath waiting for an answer.
"Ok, dad." moving across the kitchen Steph put her arms around me and hugged me with her head resting on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, kissing her head.
"So Mara, what is she like?, I mean does she know about all of us?"
"Mara is a wonderful person sweetheart, and yes she knows all about you, Jesse and Jake, she is dying to meet you all, would you like to meet Mara?"
there was a silence, before Steph answered.
"I guess so, but I need to know Mom will be ok with it first dad?"
"That's fine there's no rush,
"So what happened to her, Mom said she got burnt in a fire?"
"Yes, she did. her own home."
"were you there dad?"
"Kind of, yes."
"How did it start."
"I don't know sweetheart, the fire department are investigating."
"How bad is Mara then?"
"Quite ill, but she will get better."
"dad,....."
"Yes gorgeous"
"Eww dad, please, enough of the mush, I was thinking, when Mara gets out of hospital, can we meet her then?, you know like have a day together?"
"I'm sure that can be arranged, and I know Mara would love that. we need to clear it with the guy's first though ok?"
"Ok."
Steph uncurled herself from me and walked out of the kitchen and out to the back yard, I watched her out of the kitchen window, as she headed straight to the car block to talk to Jesse.
As I stood watching the kids Dot entered the kitchen.
"hey Jon, how do you feel this morning?"
"Tired, but functional, you?"
"Same,.... I tossed and turned all night."
"Why?"
"Just thinking things through I guess, having you back in the house, kinda made me realise how much I miss having you around"
"Dot, that was your decision remember?"
"Yeah, caused by your antics."
"Dot, lets not do this, I thought we had agreed to let things go and stay in the past."
"Yeah, I know Jon, but last night, you being here, I miss you Jon, more than I realised I guess... and ......well it was hard. .... anyway, let's move on eh," wiping a tear away from her cheek she continued..." your right, we have agreed to move on so forget it, I'm just being stupid........ so breakfast?"
"mmm yeah, what ya offering?"
"Scrambled eggs, juice and coffee?, how's that sound"
"perfect, listen, while your fixing breakfast, do ya mind if I go and grab a quick shower? I really need to freshen up, have ya got a spare toothbrush I can use too?"
"Yeah, in the bathroom cabinet, there should be some new brushes there, and Jon, talk to Jesse I'm sure you could borrow one of his t's, too, leave yours here and I'll
rinse it through. with your sweater top"
"Ok, thanks Dot. really, thanks for everything.."
leaving the kitchen I headed up the stairs to the bathroom, grabbing a new toothbrush I freshened my mouth. then slipping outta my clothes, I stepped into the warm shower, scrubbing the stale scent of the hospital off my body, allowing the soap and hot water to flow over me and wash me clean.
Finishing my shower I felt revived and refreshed, grabbing a towel round my waist I left the bathroom and walked down the corridor to Jesse room, knocking on the door I waited
" yeah"
I opened the door and walked in, he had returned from the yard and was laying on his bed.
"Hey, Son, can you lend your ol man a top?"
"Sure, in the closet over there, help yourself pop."
opening his closet, I pulled out a plain black t-shirt, closing the door to the closet I turned to look at Jesse. I had to know his feeling's about the past and now about Mara.
Knowing that Steph had spoken with him I asked.
"Jesse, is everything ok?,"
"Yeah, why dad?"
"well, I saw you talking to steph earlier, did she mention about Mara?"
"Yeah, she said she's your new girlfriend, right?"
"um, yeah that's right, I want you guy's to meet her, but I don't wanna push ya buddy, but I do wanna know how you feel?"
"Its cool dad, don't stress ok, Steph, she is the over reactor, just like Mom, I'll meet Mara whenever you want, and Dad, I'll square it with mom for you too ok? it'll all be cool"
"Thanks Son, So friends?"
"Yeah dad, Friends."
Leaving Jesse room and walking back along the corridor to the guest room, Dot shouted up that breakfast was ready.
I dried off and dressed real quick and headed down stairs to eat.
Sitting at the counter, Dot sat opposite.
"So, how is it?"
"Great, Thanks."
"so what time ya thinking of leaving?"
" I was kinda thinking in about an hour or so, I was gonna get the kids and drive off into town and do some shopping with them, and stuff, just spend some time with um, before I have to leave to go to the hospital."
"Can I ask ya something Jon?"
"Shoot,"
"Mara, is it really serious between the two of you?, from what you have said you aint known her that long?"
"Yeah, its serious, and it aint been long, but I am sure Dot, if ya worried about me hurting the kids, I won't do that again, and I would not want my kids to meet Mara if she was nothing special."
"oh,"
"What? why the face Dot, what now?"
"Nothing."
"No c'mon, out with it."
"Well, I just thought after I opened up to you this morning, you kinda felt the same way about me, and... well..... ya know... you might want us to, .... ermmmm kinda try again?.... for us ... and the kids?"
"Dot, I...... don't know what to say?, I thought you were over me, all the hurt I caused you?"
"I know, it doesn't make sense, but like I said, having you here last night, while we all ate together, how happy the kids were, and how you made me feel. I'd forgotten that, and after putting you to bed, and undressing you, well.... I wanted to climb into your bed and be with you again, I wanted to be part of you."
I listened to Dot, stunned at her admission, part of me thought she was just testing me to see if I would bite so she could hold it against me. part of me was flattered. The one thing that was clear in my mind was, as much as loved Dot for giving me three gorgeous children, the difference was I was in love with Mara. As much as it hurt, I had to be honest with Dot.
"Dot, I,I,I,... oh boy.... Dottie, listen, you are a great Mom, and we have made three beautiful kids together. I'm really flattered you still want me, but what we had was in the past, I can't risk going back there. I don't ever want to put you in the position of coming home and finding me with someone else. Dot, what I am trying to say, badly is, I love you and always will, but I am not in love with you. I'm sorry!"
watching Dot, her eye's filled with tears that spilled onto her cheeks, the whole time I was talking she watched me intently. Taking her hand in mine, I lifted it to my lips and gently kissed the back of her hand as I rose and left the kitchen.
Walking up the stairs to collect my things I could hear Dot sobbing.... how the fuck did I let that happen...
My Mom and Ruth both agreed, and Mara too that I should go see the kids and get some rest. I had to admit I was bushed and sleep was fast becoming my new best friend. I agreed that I would call and see the kids, but not collect them. given my lack of sleep for 48 hours I could not trust myself to be a safe driver. It was gonna take ounce of strength to keep my eye's open to drive back home.
Kissing Mara, my temporary good bye, with a promise to return the next day, I dragged my ass out of the hospital and over to my car in the parking lot.
I checked my refection in the mirror and was met with a stranger looking back at me. my eye's had sunk and were blood shot, my skin pale. The stress and lack of sleep had certainly taken their toll on my exhausted body. rubbing my face and eye's to try and bring some life back to my face, with no joy, I slipped my cell into the hands free cradle and dialled Dots number. The phone rang once, before Dot answered....
"Jon, how's things?"
"good, Dot, everything is looking good, listen I'm just about to leave, but Dot, I am exhausted, I can't trust myself to drive with the kids in the car, so I was thinking and hoping you'd agree, how about I call to yours and spend the evening with you and the kids and grab some take out for us all, then I can drive home after, would that be ok?"
" yeah, that's fine Jon, I was worried when you said you would collect them, especially as you aint slept for two days,...." The phone fell silent for a second, then Dot spoke again... "tell ya what Jon, I've got an even better idea, why don't you stop over in the guest room?, that way after you have eaten you can just drag your body up to bed, then tomorrow you could spend some time with the kids before heading back off to see Mara? how's that sound?"
" Great I'll buy that, So what kinda take out do you and the kids want?" Dot shouted out to the kids and I could hear their voices all shouting different things. dot came back on the phone and said, get Pizza Jon, Hawaiian, margarita, pepperoni, you know the stuff, bring some cheese melts too and coke ok?"
"Ok, got it! see ya in an hour."
hanging up from the call, I started the engine and the long drive back. opening windows and blasting the air con to keep me from falling asleep at the wheel.
Mile after mile rolled by, a couple of times I had to shake my head when my eye's started to close, thank fully somehow I made it to Dot's, collecting the take out as the guys wanted.
Fifteen minutes from the Pizza parlour I pulled up on Dot's drive.
Before the engine had died, the front door flew open and the kids rushed out to greet me.
My car door was open and in seconds I was surrounded by my babies, I don't know if it was the relief of the last two days whole events, or just seeing the kids, but I was really choked and thanked god for everything and everyone in my life, for giving me a second chance to make things right..
Getting out of the car, I stood next to my eldest son, Jesse; he had grown so much since I last saw him, he stood shoulder to shoulder with me, and Stephanie was growing into a beautiful young women, Jake, was a little tyke, with the energy of a tiger. I hugged them all together then each in turn. I felt the luckiest man in the world.
Grabbing the Pizza's and the drinks from the passenger seat we headed inside and ate in the breakfast nook in the kitchen.
Sitting around the table, it was so good listening to the kids and the chatter, it reminded me of the good times that Dot and I had shared together, and as a family.
After dinner, the kids wanted to watch a movie so we headed over to the theatre room, nothing had changed, everything was as I remembered, Dot started the movie as we all sat, Jake on my knee, Stephanie sat to my right and Jesse to my left, with Dot sat next to him. What happened in the movie or what the movie was about I could not tell ya. I'm guessing I crashed out, as when I woke I was in the guest room, in bed and wearing just my shorts, with my clothes folded neatly on the chair by the dresser.
Waking from my sleep, my first call of the day, was to my Mom to check on Mara.
"Hey Mom, how's Mara?"
"Morning, Jon, Mara is sleeping right now, the Dr's gave her some tramadol pain relief last night. They must have done the job, as she has not moved all night."
"How's Ruth? is she holding out ok?"
"Ruth is fine, The Dr's have given us a private room so each of us can sleep and take turns being with Mara. So how are the kids, did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, they are great, we had a nice night, what I can remember of it."
"You didn't get drunk did you?"
"No Mom, I crashed out that's all, I'm getting up now and I'm gonna spend an hour or so with the kids before coming back to the hospital, can you tell Mara if she wakes that I will see her later?"
"Sure hon, how are my Granbabies?"
"They are all fine, all growing up, Jesse is nearly as tall as I am, but then that aint difficult is it, I aint exactly stocking in the height department am I?."
my mom laughed at my comment, "No son, it's your pop's fault, so how are Stephanie and Jacob?"
"Steph is a beautiful ma, and Jake, well he's a live wire, full of energy, and so cute."
"Tell them Grannie Bongiovi say's hi, and that I love them all and I will see them all really soon, and that I miss them, will ya?"
"Yeah, sure ma, no worries, right look, I'm gonna go now and, but I will ring ya later as I leave, love ya mom."
"Love ya too son.bye."
returning my phone to the night stand, I finally swung my legs outta bed, stretching as I stood, opening the drapes, the sun was shone through the window, walking to the chair and pulling on my pants and t-shirt, and running my fingers through my hair, I left the bedroom and headed down stairs.
Happy voices could be heard as I walked through the hallway to the breakfast nook.
"morning dad, did you sleep well?"
"Morning sweetheart, yeah, thanks I slept really well, you?"
"Yeah, I always sleep well except Jesse thought it was cool to play his music until late, can you tell him"
"Sure, I'll talk to him, so, what happened last night? I remember sitting with you all and then this morning I wake up in bed? so, who carried me to bed?"
"Jesse, and Mom, the film had just started and within minutes you were out cold. So we thought we'd take you to bed and let you rest. Jake helped to, not carrying you, but turning down the bed, opening doors and stuff. so,.... Dad, can I ask you something? Its personal and you don't have to answer if you don't want. but I'm curious I need to know.... "
"Sure, sweetheart, what is it?"
"Who is Mara?"
"Mara is a very close friend of mine."
"how close?, Mom say's she is your girlfriend, is that true?"
"yes steph she is."
"Oh."
"Whats wrong steph?"
"Nothin"
"C'mon, tell me, there is something, or you wouldn't be asking me questions. C'mon, talk to me steph."
"Well, when you and Mom broke up, it was in the papers about you and this women,... and well, we need to know, will we be reading stuff like that again? reading those stories dad, ... well it killed me, .... and Jesse It broke our hearts, and you really hurt Mom too."
"No, sweetheart, it will be nothing like that, your Mom and me are all sorted,we are friends again, I know what happened was wrong and painful, but that is all in the past, we are moving on, all of us as a family. sweetheart please believe me, when I say, I am really sorry for all the pain I caused last time, I know I can't change the past, but I can change our future. I want to be part of your lives Steph. I want to be the Dad you want me to be. Will you forgive me? let us try again? " I waited holding my breath waiting for an answer.
"Ok, dad." moving across the kitchen Steph put her arms around me and hugged me with her head resting on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close, kissing her head.
"So Mara, what is she like?, I mean does she know about all of us?"
"Mara is a wonderful person sweetheart, and yes she knows all about you, Jesse and Jake, she is dying to meet you all, would you like to meet Mara?"
there was a silence, before Steph answered.
"I guess so, but I need to know Mom will be ok with it first dad?"
"That's fine there's no rush,
"So what happened to her, Mom said she got burnt in a fire?"
"Yes, she did. her own home."
"were you there dad?"
"Kind of, yes."
"How did it start."
"I don't know sweetheart, the fire department are investigating."
"How bad is Mara then?"
"Quite ill, but she will get better."
"dad,....."
"Yes gorgeous"
"Eww dad, please, enough of the mush, I was thinking, when Mara gets out of hospital, can we meet her then?, you know like have a day together?"
"I'm sure that can be arranged, and I know Mara would love that. we need to clear it with the guy's first though ok?"
"Ok."
Steph uncurled herself from me and walked out of the kitchen and out to the back yard, I watched her out of the kitchen window, as she headed straight to the car block to talk to Jesse.
As I stood watching the kids Dot entered the kitchen.
"hey Jon, how do you feel this morning?"
"Tired, but functional, you?"
"Same,.... I tossed and turned all night."
"Why?"
"Just thinking things through I guess, having you back in the house, kinda made me realise how much I miss having you around"
"Dot, that was your decision remember?"
"Yeah, caused by your antics."
"Dot, lets not do this, I thought we had agreed to let things go and stay in the past."
"Yeah, I know Jon, but last night, you being here, I miss you Jon, more than I realised I guess... and ......well it was hard. .... anyway, let's move on eh," wiping a tear away from her cheek she continued..." your right, we have agreed to move on so forget it, I'm just being stupid........ so breakfast?"
"mmm yeah, what ya offering?"
"Scrambled eggs, juice and coffee?, how's that sound"
"perfect, listen, while your fixing breakfast, do ya mind if I go and grab a quick shower? I really need to freshen up, have ya got a spare toothbrush I can use too?"
"Yeah, in the bathroom cabinet, there should be some new brushes there, and Jon, talk to Jesse I'm sure you could borrow one of his t's, too, leave yours here and I'll
rinse it through. with your sweater top"
"Ok, thanks Dot. really, thanks for everything.."
leaving the kitchen I headed up the stairs to the bathroom, grabbing a new toothbrush I freshened my mouth. then slipping outta my clothes, I stepped into the warm shower, scrubbing the stale scent of the hospital off my body, allowing the soap and hot water to flow over me and wash me clean.
Finishing my shower I felt revived and refreshed, grabbing a towel round my waist I left the bathroom and walked down the corridor to Jesse room, knocking on the door I waited
" yeah"
I opened the door and walked in, he had returned from the yard and was laying on his bed.
"Hey, Son, can you lend your ol man a top?"
"Sure, in the closet over there, help yourself pop."
opening his closet, I pulled out a plain black t-shirt, closing the door to the closet I turned to look at Jesse. I had to know his feeling's about the past and now about Mara.
Knowing that Steph had spoken with him I asked.
"Jesse, is everything ok?,"
"Yeah, why dad?"
"well, I saw you talking to steph earlier, did she mention about Mara?"
"Yeah, she said she's your new girlfriend, right?"
"um, yeah that's right, I want you guy's to meet her, but I don't wanna push ya buddy, but I do wanna know how you feel?"
"Its cool dad, don't stress ok, Steph, she is the over reactor, just like Mom, I'll meet Mara whenever you want, and Dad, I'll square it with mom for you too ok? it'll all be cool"
"Thanks Son, So friends?"
"Yeah dad, Friends."
Leaving Jesse room and walking back along the corridor to the guest room, Dot shouted up that breakfast was ready.
I dried off and dressed real quick and headed down stairs to eat.
Sitting at the counter, Dot sat opposite.
"So, how is it?"
"Great, Thanks."
"so what time ya thinking of leaving?"
" I was kinda thinking in about an hour or so, I was gonna get the kids and drive off into town and do some shopping with them, and stuff, just spend some time with um, before I have to leave to go to the hospital."
"Can I ask ya something Jon?"
"Shoot,"
"Mara, is it really serious between the two of you?, from what you have said you aint known her that long?"
"Yeah, its serious, and it aint been long, but I am sure Dot, if ya worried about me hurting the kids, I won't do that again, and I would not want my kids to meet Mara if she was nothing special."
"oh,"
"What? why the face Dot, what now?"
"Nothing."
"No c'mon, out with it."
"Well, I just thought after I opened up to you this morning, you kinda felt the same way about me, and... well..... ya know... you might want us to, .... ermmmm kinda try again?.... for us ... and the kids?"
"Dot, I...... don't know what to say?, I thought you were over me, all the hurt I caused you?"
"I know, it doesn't make sense, but like I said, having you here last night, while we all ate together, how happy the kids were, and how you made me feel. I'd forgotten that, and after putting you to bed, and undressing you, well.... I wanted to climb into your bed and be with you again, I wanted to be part of you."
I listened to Dot, stunned at her admission, part of me thought she was just testing me to see if I would bite so she could hold it against me. part of me was flattered. The one thing that was clear in my mind was, as much as loved Dot for giving me three gorgeous children, the difference was I was in love with Mara. As much as it hurt, I had to be honest with Dot.
"Dot, I,I,I,... oh boy.... Dottie, listen, you are a great Mom, and we have made three beautiful kids together. I'm really flattered you still want me, but what we had was in the past, I can't risk going back there. I don't ever want to put you in the position of coming home and finding me with someone else. Dot, what I am trying to say, badly is, I love you and always will, but I am not in love with you. I'm sorry!"
watching Dot, her eye's filled with tears that spilled onto her cheeks, the whole time I was talking she watched me intently. Taking her hand in mine, I lifted it to my lips and gently kissed the back of her hand as I rose and left the kitchen.
Walking up the stairs to collect my things I could hear Dot sobbing.... how the fuck did I let that happen...
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