Chapter Seventy

Everything was beginning to take shape for the wedding, today Mara with me, and my mom, and Mara's mom, and Steph, and the boys... well every attendant and family member you can name was coming along with us to Klienfields... Mara thought it would be nice to do all our buying in one place, plus she had always dreamed of being waited on in such a prestigious store.

Moving the entourage was a task on its own.... so heaven only knows how the attendants in the store would cope, however we were soon on our way to New York city.

We found a parking lot and then managed to hail a string of cabs and ever the movie buff we could all say "follow that cab.." as each of our drivers headed off to 110, west Street.

One by one the cabs stopped and dropped off the passengers, our families, Spirits were high, and the excitement flowed for the girls and Mara like thick molasses.
she looked at me with a sparkle in her eye's I had never seen before. "now Jon, you know the colour scheme right, and please nothing too old fashioned, and make sure that it works...."
"Babe, relax, it's covered ok?"
"whew, yeah, omg this is so exciting..."
Mara was like a kid about to enter a toy shop for the very first time, I slipped my arm around her waist as we all entered inside the building.
"Good morning Mr Bongiovi, this way for you and your party please." we all followed along the marble floor lobby to a very nicely decorated seating area, the walls were covered in pastel grey candy stripes and powder blue paint, the seating was a round velvet couch with planting seated in the middle.
Our wait was minimal as our servers were sent out to split our party, Mara's and the girls to the bridal salon and us boys downstairs to the mens section. I cannot lie, I wanted to be with Mara's and see the styles of dresses she was testing and I was intrigued as to the style she would choose. In my minds eye I pictures her in a soft mermaid style design with delicate flowers in her hair and a very minimal wedding bouquet..... lost in my own thoughts,  Leaning forward Mara kissed me on the lips... "I'll see you later..." she walked off with the girls and turned back and smiled as she got onto the elevator. I stood looking in a dream like state brought back to normal as Matt tapped me on the shoulder, "Earth to Jon?" "What?"
"You have been asked for colour scheme and style?"
"I have?, ... oh right I have?" we took the elevator down to the men's section as I concentrated hard and discussed the options of what i'd like for us all to wear, Calum our server, making notes and agreeing and adding his thoughts and suggestions. down stairs we were led into the waiting area and after making sure he had my requirements noted he disappeared to get styles for us to choose, matt and the boys and me all sat on the waiting queen anne style chairs. The room was a continuation of the entrance lobby, very pristine in presentation with out being over the top, the room gave a calming hue.

Calum arrived back with the suits, just as Mara's server snook her head round the door arms laden with mountains of wedding gowns.... " Mara asked me to call, she said to let you know...relax, your bride will look beautiful;"
"I know she will, even if she wore a trash bag she'd look perfect."
"well she aint chose a trash bag, but; Mr Bongiovi, you will love her choices..." nodding at the suits she carried on, "looking good by the way" then she was gone... I was now even more determined to see what the choices were, I called Matt to my side,
"go see Mara Matt, ask her if she will allow me to join her to view her in one of the gowns at least..."
"Jon, no way, that's bad luck...can't do it.."
"Matt your getting confused, its only bad luck to see her on the wedding day..."
"Don't care, not doing it bro.... you just gotta wait."
Calum our server joined in with out being asked for his opinion...
"Oooh you can't join the bridal party, you so do not want a hex on this marriage... your brother is right...now who's trying the suits on first?"
Matt slapped me on the back as he went first, when he stepped out the dressing room he did a little jump and "ta dah"
he look striking in the grey suit with aqua accents, in the cravat, Tony went next, he too on stepping out announced his presence with a ta dah... Jakey went next... and yep he came out and said same ta dah, then Jessie went in and when he came out I said it before he could... "Ta dah"
"Ew dad, I was going say sick..."
"Sick?, you don't like it?"
"What, no look, sick means cool, great...."
"well just say cool or great then..."
"der cause that aint cool pop..." he moved across and stood with the other guys and they all stood out and looked amazing.
"Mr Bongiovi, shall we?" Calum was stood next to me indicating for me to step into the dressing room, I was next...
With the suit fitted I stood looking at my reflection, the colours were perfect, but something wasn't right.
As I walked out of the dressing room I carried on the tradition of "Ta dah..." matt and the guys gave me a round of applause.
"Well that was easy right?"
"mmm I guess..."
"What, you don't like them?I think we all look great..."
"I like them, but, I think for me and Jessie and Jake we should all wear the same but be different from you and Tony.."
"like a darker shade of grey?"
"yeah.."
Calum  immediately became involved again, "Oh I agree, make a striking statement., I suggest that you and the two young men wear a slightly darker colour of grey and have the two other gentlemen in the lighter grey... much more flattering..."
I guess if I had to describe Calum, he was very much like the character played by martin short in the movie Father of the Bride and in so many ways minus the accent he was like Franc...
Matt looked at me as he asked, don't he remind you of the guy in that movie with Steve Martin... immediately we both started to laugh as Calum returned with the darker suits for us to try...

Chapter Sixty Nine

Back downstairs and sitting in the breakfast nook, Steph Jessie and Jake came in together, they had been in the back yard bouncing around a volley ball, Jake was whining that the other two hit the ball to high over the net so he could not play and had spent the whole time just jumping up and down trying.
"You are not fun, your mean..."
"Jake, lil man you just have to jump higher, that's all" Jessie was teasing him and Steph helped too.
"Yeah, we punched loads low for you, but you missed them, so not our fault little bro..." they were both eyeing each other as they used the term little. I saw Jakes face fall.... and interrupted...
"now, you two stop teasing your brother, you want some hot chocolate Jakey?"
with a forlorn face he came over to me and nodded his head.
"You want mallows and cream too Jake?"
immediately he brightened up, "Yeah...." with a beaming face he stood by Mara as she prepared him his favourite drink. Steph and Jessie sat at the breakfast bar.
Looking at Mara I indicated the look, shall we tell them now, she nodded her head gently while stirring the milk for Jakes hot chocolate.
"Kids," all three sets of eyes looked toward me. "Tomorrow, how you all feel about a family day together?"
All three nodded there heads, but not enthusiastically, laughing I asked, "Don't look so excited will you?"
Steph answered first, "well its not that we are not excited dad, but, well I dunno..." I finished her sentence, "its not cool hanging with your old man right?"
"daddy we love you but I guess it depends what you have planned, right Jessie?"
Jake pulled on my jeans, "I'm happy and excited Daddy..." I stroke his head, I know you are son."
Mara finished making Jake his chocolate and he sat at the breakfast bar either side his bother and sister and quietly drank his drink and spooned out the mallows and cream first...
the older siblings still looked pretty stiff about spending the day with us. Mara winked at me before taking the lead....
"Guy's look it really wont be that bad, after all, we are going to a theme park"
Immediately there faces broke into electric smiles, if we had given them each a new four by four they could not have looked as pleased.
Steph spoke first..." really, well I think I could manage some family time at a theme park... your gonna ride with us though right dad?" laughing I nodded my head, "Yeah, no standing waiting and waving like loons at us guys as we go round or something lame.... that is so not cool..."
"thanks Jessie, I feel heaps younger now.."
"You know what I mean dad"
"Sure, your embarrassed by your old man..." I tried to keep a straight face but failed. he saw and laughed too, "So what time we leaving then tomorrow, we wanna have a whole day right?"
"Yeah that's all planned too, we are planning to leave at 8am... that ok with you Steph?"
"Oh right pick on my cause I'm the girl..... well it so happens I will be ready before you all, you'll see." pouting she looked out of the window with her head in the air.
The banter and noise in the kitchen was music to my ears, I had everything I could want, three wonderful kids, all growing up normal and a beautiful fiancée, and when the house was sold we could go looking for a new family home together. It seemed like an eternity but at last things we beginning to go right.
Mara joined my side, and draped her hand round my back and slid her hand in to my jeans back pocket and gently squeezed my butt, as I looked at her she smiled back at me.
"So tonight then kids, eat in, or out, and where, lets hear it?"
in a milli second all shouted in chorus, "out and Pizza Express."
I looked to Mara," you ok with that?"
"Fine, I'm happy, well as long as I can have a Hawaiian deep cheese filled crust large all to myself , no sharing ok  Bongiovi?"
for someone so slim it was amazing how much of an appetite Mara had, and how much she could eat.... " Not even one slice? Miss Goodward that's mean..."
"no not even one slice.... "
it didn't help we both had the same taste, and I never wanted Hawaiian until Mara had it, and for some reason eating her's always tasted better.
"I'm waiting?" with a cold look in her eye's she stood looking at me, "well?"
"Ok, ok, you got it, you can pig out on a large all to yourself.... " smiling, playfully she smacked my butt as she went to get her jacket, checking the time 8pm, it was time we made a move or we would be to late getting home and that would mean tomorrows plans would be scuppered, Jake put his cup in the sink, and wiped his mouth over his hand, Jessie and Steph were talking I interrupted them " right you three lets get moving,   go get your coats..." All three marched out together and in a minute all three were ready and stood waiting, taking my keys from the worktop, and with Mara's hand in mine we headed out to the car, all on board and buckled up we set off for a lovely family evening.

Chapter Sixty eight

Our chasing around the house resulted in us making love to one another for the next two hours, exhilarated and exhausted, we lay naked on the bed together,  Mara breaking the silence to speak about the kids,
"Jon, I was thinking, can we get the kids together tonight and talk with them?"
" Sure honey, but don't ya I think it would be better to wait until tomorrow?, "
"Why?, no time like the present..."
"well I was thinking, maybe we could go out for the day as a family, chat casually so it don't look like its staged or something?" 
"Why staged? I wouldn't grill them Jon?"
"Hey, I'm not saying you would, but kids see things differently to how we do, that's all..."
"but I wanted to talk to Steph about being my brides women?"
"Babe that's great, and you will, all's I'm saying is, lets do it in a relaxed atmosphere, while we have fun." 
Mara moved herself from me to the edge of the bed and slipped her robe on that was laying at the bottom of the bed. and got up and went to the bathroom. "so you think it will be better that way?"
"I think it would be nicer for us all, and I want to talk to the kids too, its just after all they have been through I want this to be as easy as possible, our wedding should create wonderful memories for them, id hate it if they resent us for it in later years?..." Mara answered for the bathroom her voice a little muffled,
" Oh god I agree on that one, jeez, that's the last thing I want to do." walking back into the bedroom she sat on the edge of the bed,
"yeah, ya know thinking about it your right, ok lets do it your way" turning her head she sat grinning at me, a mischievous look in her eyes as she turned and crawled her way back across the bed again, coming to rest only as she laid her head on her hands on my chest.
She was still in a playful mood, that was obvious, as she asked
"So where you suggest we go with them then Bongiovi?"
I smiled at her, I so loved it when she was playful,  and that was something we had not shared for a very long time, it really felt like forever, so I was gonna enjoy every second we had....
"how's about a theme park?"
"Theme Park, Mmmm maybe."
"Maybe? its perfect, the kids will love it... and its our first official outing as a family in public, what's not to like?"
"Well, I dunno, I was thinking about somewhere educational... you know; like the museum?"
"What? over a theme park?, you got a bump on your head? why for the love of god..."   she  could not keep a straight face as she burst out laughing.
"You are joking right?," in between her chuckles and hysterical laughter she nodded her head, "I'm sorry I could not resist. "
"oh really, so you think teasing me is a good idea do you?"
my hands tickled her ribs, as she squealed and rolled around, causing her robe to open and expose her naked body. "Stop please stop..." she was gasping for air, but I would not stop, "So where are we going then?"
"theme Park, the theme Park, so stop already..."

I could not resist a few more tickles before I eased back and sat with my back to the headboard of the bed, and watched sadly as she brought her robe around her body again. She saw my expression and asked,
"What? you want more of me?"
I did not reply but my eyes spoke volumes, Mara picked up on it as she sexily moved up the bed, and sat astride me, the mischievous glint she had quickly replaced with the look of lust too, then with her hands I watched her near breathless as she untied her robe, and slid it slowly over her shoulders to expose her pert naked breasts. Leaning forward and with her eyes half closed she whispered " I love you Jon"  before kissing me deep and gently.

In that moment my heart started to pound and my throat became dry as for the fourth time that day my body was aroused and ached for Mara.

I had never met any women that could turn me on as she could, my body responded to her touch, as slowly I slid down the bed as she sensuously moved her body and her mouth around my exposed naked body.

My head falling back and resting on the pillows, with my eye's closed I allowed my body to be carried away on the exhilaration and ecstasy  I was be being taken too.

Each lick and caress, caused soft moans  to escaped my lips,  her mouth magically playing with my nipples, as she kept on licking and gently kissing down to my happy trail, then making me wait as she teased around my devoid standing ardour, until I thought I would explode.

Raising my head slightly from the pillow, I begged, "Please, baby don't tease me." my voice croaky and dry, I let my head fall back against the pillow as finally she relented of my pleasurable torture and took me in her mouth, each movement was pure heaven, as my body reached higher and higher searching for its ultimate release, but to do that, I knew I had to share it with Mara, opening my eyes I gently pulled her back towards me, then moving her so she was laying on her back, I lifted up my body laid between her legs, my hands caressing her thighs gently, whilst my mouth returned the pleasure by kissing her soft and deep, my hands caressed her naked body all over, watching tentatively as she began to arch her back and moan with pleasure, calling my name to take her, nothing was sexier to me, as with her one hand she took my manhood and placed it inside her. Rhythmically we started moving together, becoming one, she stroked, clawed at my back and nibbled my neck, licking sensuously around my adams apple with her tongue.
as with each thrust we moved faster and faster picking up the pace until we both exploded our release before collapsing either side of one another exhausted again, both of us soaked in sweat and panting loudly, whilst still looking at one another. our moment broken by a knock at the door.
"dad..."

Chapter Sixty Seven

After saying farewell to Richie and the guys, I moved into the kitchen where Mara and mom were stood washing dishes. "Hey aint the caterers here for that?"
"It don't matter, more hands get the job done quicker..." mom stopped what she was doing for a second, "You know I'm so pleased you two are home...." she reached over and hugged Mara and placed a soapy hand on my arm... "You know the physical scars you have both endured, I feel them for you both, and the mental strain will remain with me forever, but knowing you too are safe I can cope with the rest." she gave us a warm smile through eyes filled with tears. All three of us embraced.

Mom broke the embrace and continued with the chores of washing up, and could be heard giving instructions to the waiting staff..." make sure all the food is wrapped and refrigerated, and all the crystal is here to be washed, that needs to be washed by hand not in the dish washer." the waiting staff were a hive of activity as they fetch and carried. Mom was always at her happiest when she was organising.

I gently took Mara's elbow and lead her to the door way so I could talk to her. We both looked around before we spoke, we did not want any of the news breaking in the press before we had time to adjust and start making our arrangements. We both wanted a pretty low key affair with just friends and family and the band,  but if our news leaked we would be hounded day and night and there would always be that someone somewhere prepared to shed more light on events.

I looked down at her beautiful face, the scars of our recent past etched across her elfin features, her eyes still soft despite the body conflict endured by her. stoking her face gently I asked,
"you ok?"
"Yeah, why?"
"No reason just checking..." I smiled my biggest smile, she did the same in return.
"So, did you ask Jessie?"
"I had a long chat with him."
"You did? and?"
"he and the kids are great, they love you and are real happy for us."
"So you spoke to all of them?"
"No, just Jessie, but he knows his siblings..."
"But Jon, I need to know from all of them that they are ok for us to marry?, its not long since, there Mom died, and don't forget I shot her."
"But that was to save my life, it would have been one of us for sure, babe, trust me ok, the kids are fine..."
her face was full of conflict, she nodded her head, but I know she didn't want to. Turning to me she asked, "Can we meet with all the kids, I want to talk to them too."
"Why?"
"Just humor me please..."
"Ok, ok... whatever you want, you know I'm happy for that....." I changed the subject slightly but still in the vein of the kids and our wedding.
"I asked Jessie to be best man?"
her eyes were wide as she waited for me to carry on. " And?"
"He said yes, he's so excited...see, told you everything is gonna be fine..."
"He did?,  that's given me hope...." her smile was broad and she looked relieved to hear the news.
"babes, trust me ok, no one knows the kids like I do." I was trying to affirm and reassure her, I decided I did not want to mention my own doubts I had when talking to Jessie earlier,
"So, can I ask, have you thought about who you would like to be your attendants?"
"I have, but I'm not sharing with you Bongiovi."
"Oh, I see playing like that are we?"
a giggle escaped her lips and she moved out of the doorway and stuck her tongue out at me.
"You better move fast Miss Goodward...?"
"She giggled again as she took off through the house, with me chasing in hot pursuit. No doubt about it that she was fitter and faster than me and more nimble as she ran and made headway in front, with me puffing and chasing behind.
I had to try another tact if I was to catch her, and no one said I had to play fair. I was making the rules... sneakily I went through the guest wing and up the back stairs and round the side hall and down and opened the door to where Mara just rang into the open door.
Laughing I stepped round and grabbed her.
"She was breathless and laughing and fighting my grip, "Hey so not fair, you cheat."
"Yep I am, and?"
"Nothing... still she was laughing and catching her breath, I was laughing too, I enjoying every second I was with Mara.

Chapter sixty six

As the last of the guests left, apart from Obie and the guys, me and Jessie  helped my ma to clear away the dishes, "Aint this a women's job pop?" 
I laughed, "don't let grandma here you say that..."
he smiled at me... "Ok.."
"Jessie, there's something I need to talk to you about..." putting the dishes back on the table I turned him to look at me, I needed to do this right, "c'mon lets go to the den..."
I turned and walked away and Jessie walked with me.
"Drink?"
"I can really?"
"Sure, but only a real small one..."
"Yeah, I'd like that pop.."
I sort out two small shots for me and Jessie, turning to face him I handed him his drink and sat on the edge of the sofa.
"Jessie, there's a few things I need to talk through with you before I get to the main thing I want us to talk about, ok?"
"Sure pop" his face was puzzled and I could see he was struggling to understand what this was about.
I reassured him.
"Hey its nothing bad, ok, just some things I need to talk with you about and your brother and sister too, but I wanted to talk with you first."
his face broke a smile and it was so easy to see his was my son, his features resembled more of me with each passing day he grew.
"Son, how do you feel about me marrying Mara? tell me honestly... ok don't be nervous..."
he laughed, "really?, pop are you serious, you really want me to answer that?, don't you know already?"
I smiled back, "well I think I know, but I just wanna be one hundred percent sure..."
"well I know that I love Mara, she's great, she has given us back our dad, and no matter what has happened to her, she loves you, anyone can see that, and when your happy so are we..."
I was relieved to know that my thoughts about the kids and their feelings towards Mara were as I thought, but the next question was gonna be a little harder. clearing my throat I asked the question I was dreading...
"What about your mom, no bad feelings about us not being together and how she died?"
Jessie looked at me, he swallowed hard before he answered. "no matter what our mom did, she was still our mom, and part of me will always love her I guess...... but watching what she did to you both, and how she got grandma involved, I cant forgive her ever...... " he stammered as he carried out,  and, and, and,  nearly causing us to lose you through her own hatred, well it kills me inside. I don't blame either you or Mara not in anyway..."
I ruffled his hair, and smiled at him sitting in the chair... now came the time to ask the next big favour...
"Son, thank you, and that's form Mara too, she loves you all so much, you know that right?"
he nodded and started looking puzzled again...
"man I am so shit at this father son stuff.... "
I got up and paced over to the window and looked out...  a hand rested on my shoulder, I turned round to see Jessie stood waiting for me to explain...
"Is it something serious dad? you can tell me..."
"well yeah its serious son, serious cause I was hoping you would do me the honour of being my best man."
Jessie's face broke into a smile as he looked at me and answered..." oh man, wow, really, sure I will, I'd love too....but I don't know what to do, can you help me?"
"uncle Rich can...ok?" He nodded as we both hugged each other and enjoyed the moment of being father and son....
"Jon, Mara came to the door of the den, Obie and the boys are leaving and wanna say god bye..."
I nodded, "Be there in one minute..."
She smiled as she turned and closed the door.
"thanks Son, thanks..."
"For what dad?"
"For everything...."
no more words were spoken as we left the den my arms around my eldest sons shoulders to say goodbye to the guys waiting in the lobby.

Chapter 65 - what you know is true

I could not believe my eye's, all my family and the guys from the band were there to welcome me home, the only thing was this was no longer my home, it felt anything but, and although we both could put on smiley faces for everyone today, tonight it was gonna get spooky and we would both no doubt be off and book into a hotel, the images of the break in with Brad, well it had more than unnerved me, the trauma of it had been stamped into my brain.

I looked down at my daughter who was clung to my chest, and Jessie who was slapping my on the back and lil man Jakey wrapped around my legs, My mom then moved around the side of me and took my bag from my hands and out to the study.
"we have really missed you dad, so glad your home, " I smiled down at the figures before me, Richie could always be relied on to get me to say a speech, "C'mon Jon, what ya gotta say to these guy's?"
I walked over to the set that the band had set up, clearly they intended to sing, hopefully with Richie as lead and guitarist, I walked over to the mic and stood looking out at all my family and close friends that had gathered, and then to the women who had been with me through every nightmare in the last year, my Mara, suddenly everything I wanted to say came to mind and I began.

"I guess you all know the trauma that both Mara and me have been through, the stalking, fire, stabbing, break-in and shooting, we have seen more action than Arnie in his acting career," there were ripples of laughter, "but, what astounds me is, Mara has never given up on me, because she is the most incredible women I have ever met in my life.

I paused and beckoned for Mara to join me on stage, gracefully she walked towards the stage and climbed the steps to stand at my side, as I whispered in her ear, "Marry me in a month?" I looked into her eye's as she smiled and whispered right back "yes". With my heart beating wildly in my chest, I went back to addressing our close friends and family,

"So, to make it official we want you all to join us and celebrate our marriage one month from today."
we were met with whistles and cheers by everyone as I took the opportunity to steal a kiss from her beautiful lips.

as we both walked back onto the floor my mom flew to our sides, "Oh, babies that is really wonderful news...now there's so much to organise,"
Mara gave me a look as if to say, tell her, this is our day, we want to organise it!
"Ma, take it easy ok, when we have decided on where we want it, we will let you know ok?" she looked at me hurt. Quickly I responded, putting my hand gently on her shoulder. "Ma, don't take on so, it's our day, and we want you to relax and enjoy it, not be rushing round organising everything, that's what wedding planners are for?"
she nodded her head at us, but I could see she was fighting back the tears, Mara spoke to her, "Ma, what I need help with is finding my wedding dress?, my mom's idea's are so Victorian I'll need another women's interaction to help me, and there's no one I'd rather have helping me than you, will you join me?"
"Oh course Mara, I'd love to, and of course there are the bridesmaid dresses.." I looked at Mara and she looked at me and we both laughed, my ma looked at us with a puzzled expression, "what? what's so funny?"
still laughing, I replied "nothing ma, nothing" Richie came over next,
" so c'mon then ask away?"
"Ask away for what?"
"what you wanna ask me?"
"there's nothing I wanna ask you Rich?"
"Yeah sure there is... c'mon, I aint got all day man."
he stood at the side of us grinning like the cat that got the cream... Mara lent in and whispered, he want's you to ask him to be best man.
The light bulb switched on and thanks to Mara I realised what he was going on about. Thing was I wanted Jessie to be my best man. this was gonna be hard.
Richie still stood waiting,
" Well...."
"Aw man, you want me to ask you to be best man right?"
his face dropped, "What you don't want me?"
"Aww course we want you bud, but..."
"You want someone else more, I get it, it's ok..." he looked sad and dejected. "Rich, look that's not it at all, but I wanted to ask Jessie first?"
He perked up, "man I'm such and idiot, course you do... I'm sorry, I can be a real dumbass sometimes, It's cool, and let Jessie know I'm here to help him if he needs it..." slapping me on the back he walked off to join the rest of the guy's that were hovering around the food waiting for it to be announced the food bar was open. David and Tico had positioned themselves by the plates and it was obvious no one was getting past them first.

Chapter 64 - Every Peice of my heart

I stayed in the hospital for another 4 weeks, eventually my lung inflated and stayed that way, and after what felt like a zillion tests, the Doc gave me my discharge papers, it was official, I was strong enough to return home, leaving the hospital with Mara and my mom, I felt like a cat that had nine lives, honest to god I could not believe how lucky I had been, yeah ok, it had been bad luck so far, but lucky in that I had survived all the trauma, yes sir I was more than happy to head home, with Mara on my arm on the right and my ma on the left, and me in a wheel chair, and each of them pushing with a handle each; we headed down on the elevator to the basement parking lot. 

As the doors opened, the parking lot was dark and dimly lit, and my heart started to race, it took my breath away, Ma and Mara stopped pushing and looked at me, "You ok Baby?" Mara knelt down beside me, with her hand of my knee and love and concern wrote across her beautiful face,  I managed a smile as I answered, "Yeah, just haunted by old ghosts..."  She smiled back at me, and stroking my hand she nodded her head in agreement, six weeks ago this was where it all started with Dot, and it was proving difficult for us to let go and just carry on. The fear was there.

My ma, was now in control of my chair and pushed me forward and headed straight for her car, she had parked to the west and towards an outlet where the sun was shining through, and rested on her car. When we got there I stood, Mara and mom pushed the chair over to the collection bays and we all got inside the car. Yes, we all checked no one was hiding there, mainly for my fear if im honest, but I guess for all of us too. Smiling across to me, my mom started the engine and we took a less than exciting and uneventful journey back home.

As we swung the car down my drive the fear I had returned, this time I held it in check, when my ma pulled the car to a stop, we all got out. looking at the house from the outside, you never would have known the heartache and pain that both Mara and me had been subject too just three months ago, I had no idea what to expect when we entered inside.
With my feet shuffling across the gravel and taking really slow steps, tow arms finally gripped me from either side and escorted me faster to the entrance. Mara placed the key into the lock and turned it and pushed the door open, inside, there were screams and shouting " Surprise" and stood in the middle was Richie and my Kids, moving forward Richie spoke "Welcome home buddy" then Steph cuddled into my chest, and said, "Welcome home daddy.." as the boys came over and said the same. when I looked up there were all my friends and family,