Moving On!

Chapter 15

Richie jumped up and gave me a big hug. "At least you did not say no straight out man, I can live with that. but Jon", Richie took a moment, I guess afraid of making me angry again.
"Don't take too long making your decision. We are itching to play."
then patting my back we shook hands and he walked out the door.

Dad, on the other hand had decided to make himself comfortable in my home. He had helped himself to one of my beers, and was searching through my cupboards for peanuts. Sticking his head around the door of the kitchen,
"Jon where are the peanuts? I can't find any?"
"I don't have any."
"OK" dad called again, "So what about the cookies?"
I heard the kitchen cabinets opening and closing, even the refrigerator. finally his frustration showed. "Where the fuck is all the goddamn food?"
"I've been cutting back so there isn't much." I waited for his reaction. Silence. Then I heard footsteps slowly making their way around the bend from the kitchen.

He stood there with his hand on his chin, as if he were the thinker statue.
"I thought you looked different when I first saw you. You have dropped an awful lot of weight, you look great son, really great. So what's gotten into you?"
"Mara has got into me, she has given me a new zest for life again. I've, we have been working out." I turned to look at Mara who was now leaning against the arm of the couch.
"Mara has been training me."
Dad's eyes nearly flew out of his head as he gulped on his beer.
"you are being trained by a girl?"
I still had my eye's on Mara, who was now rolling her eyes. I turned back to my dad.
"Dad, what the fuck, stop being an assole."
He was laughing, a deep gut laugh, one that I had heard many times when he wanted to ridicule me and my brothers when we were kids.
"I find it really funny that my son needs to be trained by a girl."
"Shut the fuck up Dad. You haven't been round to see me in months, and when you do, true to you, putting me down is your  main objective. nothing changes with you does it?"

Dad just continued laughing. He slunk into the recliner and continued drinking his beer. I wanted him to leave.
"Hey don't you have somewhere to be?"
He raised his eyes towards me, but not his head. Instead he chose to look at Mara.
"So what's the deal sweetie?. I know you are my sons personal trainer, are you his girlfriend too?"
Mara remained cool and in control and replied to my dad's question.
" No Mr Bongiovi, but I am his friend." Mara turned and looked at me and smiled to let  me know it was alright. I felt a warm feeling building inside.
Dad continued "Yeah and I'm the pope."
Dad got out of the recliner and came towards me with an out stretched hand.
"Look, Jon, I'm sorry I can be so much of an ass sometimes I amaze myself. You know how I am. What doesn't change is that I love you boy, and I am happy you are doing better. You look really good. I am so happy that you shaved that god awful nest off your handsome face. You are a good looking striking man Jon, just like me and your Mom. I swallowed hard, "Thanks.... I think. I'll.... ummmm let you know about the gig and my decision as soon as I can."
"Right," then John Bongiovi snr was out of my door.

Mara was sitting on the arm, of the chair. I meandered over to her and took one of her hands in mine. She looked me straight in the eyes.
"Are you OK?, he got flustered didn't he?"
I turned up one side of my mouth in an attempt at a smile.
"now that's an understatement. I am really sorry you had to see and be a part of all that. I'm sorry for my cursing too. I will try harder to refrain from using words like that around you, but he gets my blood boiling sometimes."
Mara took both my hands this time. "Don't worry about the cursing; I'm concerned with the way your Dad was talking to you."
"Aw don't be. He has always been like that. I'm used to it. He used to try to treat my Mom like that, but she showed him and he back down with her, unfortunately with us boys he won't change. I promised myself and vowed that I would never treat anyone like that."
looking down at the floor, "I guess though; my ways are no better than his. I was a cheater."
Mara let go of one of my hands and led me to the couch, with her other hand holding my mine.
We both sat at the same time.
"Jon, you have just said it, you did cheat, you are now moving forward and I know you can change your old ways; hell you have promised me, remember?, as for your dad, he is a bully and Jon you are nothing like him."
Looking at Mara, I realised that she saw things clearly and not clouded like I did. I had never analysed my dad's behaviour before, he had always been dad. He was the way he was. Looking back over my childhood I can't say it was happy. my brothers and I were chastised for many minor things. a belt, a hand, harsh words. I had to swallow hard. stroking Mara's hand while looking at her I said; "Thank you Mara, Thank you for coming into my life and for showing belief in me. I have promised you I won't cheat and Mara that is not going to be hard to keep. I-.I-I-I think I am...... in love with you." I waited for Mara's reaction. When it came it was not what I expected. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "C'mon lets start our workout we can talk after.
Whoa, I had just opened up to Mara and nothing, lets work out! I was getting confused again, did I read the signals wrong? As much as my father and Richie had agitated me, my conversation with Mara had  me now really unsettled. Moving forward with our relationship was what I wanted, no we wanted wasn't it? I thought by being honest moving to the next level would have taken us there. It took courage for me to be that honest. so here we go I fucked up again.

Following Mara to the gym room, I caught her hand and turned her to face me. " What have I done wrong Mara? you want me to be honest, well I have and you rebuff me? what is that about? don't you want me? am I too much of a risk? please tell me..."
"Mara looked at me, her eyes a soft pool of liquid chocolate, "Jon, you have done nothing wrong, you just surprised me with your honesty, I needed a few moments to think about what you have said, I panicked and reacted badly," Mara paused between each sentence.
"I'm sorry. .......truthfully Jon, I feel the same; ................ and its; well, shocked me. I suppose after losing Brad in the 9-11 tragedy I subconsciously shut down my heart..... but you have broken it open and crept in...... please forgive me for my stupid reaction Jon, and please trust me when I say; I love you, I truly really do."
Tears flowed down Mara's cheeks as she spoke her last sentence. I cupped her beautiful face in my hands and lent forward and kissed her gently. Mara wrapped her arms around my neck and moved her body in close pressing against mine. blood pumped through my veins, with every beat of my heart my groin became more aroused. I wanted Mara badly, I wanted to feel myself deep inside her. breaking our kiss I picked Mara up and carried her to my sleeping quarters.
Laying her down on the bed, I climbed on top holding my weight on my arms.
"Mara, you are so beautiful; I want to make love to you; I want to share my body with you;.... but if you are not ready then please just  tell me." I waited as Mara looked at me.
"Jon, I'm ready, I have dreamt about this moment for so long. I have wanted you forever. I did not want to make the first move Jon in case you were still hurting from your loss I....." I gently placed a finger to Mara's lips, "Ssssshhhhhhh, enough talking.

Its Friday

Chapter 14

It was Friday again. Mara would be here any minute. I was doing really well and dropping weight at a pretty speedy pace. I could see muscles forming in my shoulders and biceps; and it felt really good. I could see the Jon Bon Jovi of the past coming back to life.

I hadn't taken things any further with Mara yet, apart from a kiss and out talks; our relationship had not really moved beyond client/trainer bond.

It was maddening, but I really wanted to do this right, I wanted to ask Mara out on a date.
Truth is I did not know how.
Of course my dumb ass questioning began; well changing the thinking of seven years does not just go in a few weeks, inevitably the questions came, Could I be loyal? I mean I really screwed up my marriage, and that's the century's understatement. If I couldn't trust myself, then how could I earn Mara's trust in me?.
Because of my self doubt I was essentially deciding not to ask Mara out. It left me feeling sorrowful. The trainer client relationship was the best I could give I guess.

When the doorbell rang, I expected it to be Mara. It was'nt. Standing at the door was my 6ft father, he was an older version of me and if I wanted to know how I would look getting older all I had to do was look at my dad. He had white hair speckled through his fading blonde hair, it was thick and my father was a striking man. Blue eye's, chizzled jaw, fit physique, oh yeah my dad could still attract the ladies; despite his attraction, he had never strayed from my Mom. Why couldn't  I take after him in that department too?.
Standing beside him was my best friend Richie Sambora, who had a smile that spread from ear to ear. I could not be sure if it was a genuine smile, you know like he was happy to see me again, or to talk about getting back together and brought my dad along for support.

As they stepped over the doorway I could see Mara walking towards the door, she hesitated when she saw my visitors. "Mara, it's ok, come on" As Mara got closer and entered I whispered, "Please stay by my side the whole time they are here" She crinkled her eye's at me like I was crazy, but shrugged and said "Alright"

Moving through the house, we headed for the living room, reaching the room we all stood, no-one sat down. "I spoke first; "Dad, Richie this is Mara my...." I couldn't call her my trainer. Even though she was, my feelings were much deeper than that, and I couldn't bring myself to minimize what she was to me either.
Mara held out her hand to both of them, breaking my lame introduction.
"It's nice to meet you." Although she had looked at them both in the eyes when she was shaking their hands, she did seem shy in their presence.
It was obvious she knew who they were.
I suddenly felt a pang in the pit of my stomach, because I wasn't thinking; being around celebrities was something I was immune to; all given that my Dad wasn't a celebrity, but he was famous now for being my father; but Richie was a celebrity through me and being in Bon Jovi.

In an attempt to make Mara feel more comfortable, I moved closer to Mara and took her hand in mine. Truthfully, I don't know If I did that to make her feel more at ease or me.
In any event I was holding her hand in front or Richie and my Dad. She didn't pull away either, she actually squeezed her hand tighter round mine.
It was hard to concentrate on my guests when all I could focus on was the galvanising surge running through my body because I was hand in hand touching Mara.

"So Son", my dad always called me that and it never failed to put fear into me hearing him say it, memories of my childhood being chastised for something bad, 
"I think it's time we talk about getting you back to work."
I closed my eye's in a vain attempt to make him disappear.
"Yeah, dad, well I'm not sure that I am ready for that yet."
"Oh bullshit, Jon. You have taken long enough to wallow in your own self pity, it's not fair to Richie and the gang to keep them from the spotlight. This isn't just your career were dealing with now."
Dad could always be trusted to hold no punches back. I plopped myself on the couch, taking Mara with me. I was still holding her hand, so she had no choice.
"I know this hideous accident has you knocked out, but your Mom has been coddling you for way to friggin long, Get over it Jon, time to get back to what you were born to do."

I looked at Richie with pleading eyes. He still had that silly grin on his face.
I shook my head; I felt betrayed.
"Did you put him up to this Richie?"
Sitting down just behind him, "No bud, your Dad put me up to it man; but were getting nowhere with you. Its been seven years Jon, you can't really tell me you don't miss it? the music?"
Of course I did.
"of course I do." I turned to look at Mara. I was feeling vulnerable and I needed reassurance. She was looking at me with her sweet smile. She squeezed my hand, as if to say I'm here. This gave me strength; I wasn't surprised.
Richie continued, "C'mon man we need you. Were ready to get out there again, and we would rather do it with you than without you." 
This took me by surprise, "What?" "Yep, we will do it without you if ya don't wanna come back as our front man Jon, I will lead the guys."
"But it's my band Richie, Its my gig, I brought you into it, don't forget that."
I was getting seriously angry. I knew I wasn't ready to get back out there yet, but I sincerely hoped that Richie would not stab me in my back and replace me as lead singer.
My father stepped in as usual. He'd been pacing the living room the whole time. Bon Jovi is not just your name Jon, I gave it to you."
"What?, What are you saying?" but I knew exactly what he was saying. "You are an assole dad, a complete fuckin assole." I enuncuated each and every word. I felt Mara's hand tighten around mine. I'm sure she felt me trembling. I could'nt keep from shaking.
My father was prepared to sell his name to Richie so he could take my place as lead singer in my band. I leaned my head back against the couch. Mara's hand reached across her body to rub my arm. I closed my eyes to let this calm me.
My breathing steadied as I matched the pace which Mara moved her hand up and down my arm.
"Look Jon," my dad was going to finish me off, I was sure of that.
"I don't want to sell my name, Your right you are Bon Jovi. You are the ones the guys want as their front man, shit you are the ones the fans want to see on stage. But you gotta understand the guys too. Music is in their blood, music is in your blood too. This is what you were born to do Jon, wake up and get a grip. Look at springsteen,Guns n Roses, The eagles, they are all still on top, still struttin their stuff, producing some of thier best stuff in years. What happened to you sucks Son, but that should not stop you from living, it should not be the end of your career."
I could'nt respond to that. Not right away. So richie did.
"Jon, I know this is hard for you. I wanted to be there for you too. You would'nt let me, maybe if you had you could be over this already."
I sat up straight, "I could never be over this Richie, I lost far more than my wife and career that day" I stopped myself suddenly realising what I had said.
I felt Mara's hand loosen a little and I did'nt like that. It did'nt make sense. she was letting me know that she was there for me by the touch of her hand why would she loosen it now? what was she trying to say?.
"What do you mean? lost more than your wife that day Jon?"
"Nothing Richie, forget it"
"Look man, all I meant was not that you would forget Dorothea or get over that, but by letting me help you, maybe you could have moved forward sooner with your life."
Suddenly I knew why Mara had loosened her grip, maybe it was when I spoke about more than a loss of my wife, maybe Mara thought she could not get me over my loss of my unborn son? I had to end this now. I brought the discussion to an end,
" Dad, Richie, let me think about this. I can't just change my course without thinking about it. I will let you know"
All I wanted to do was to be with Mara. I had to get them outta my house, I really needed to talk to Mara. I needed her to see, I was moving forward now because of her, and only her.

OMG!!! Really?

Chapter 13

I sat for a moment taking in the words that Mara had just said, total relief flooding through my veins.
This gorgeous beautiful woman wanted to be with me, not the rock star Jon Bon Jovi, but the fat, fucked up outta shape Jon. I still could not believe my luck.
Mara was my Angel after all.

Finally I spoke. "wow, you believe in me?...... but I'm fucked up Mara, I've got a long way to go, and I am sure being me, I am bound to fuck up some more on the road back to me, I can't give you any guarantee's but honestly, I will never intentionally cheat on you or hurt you. That Jon left many years ago"
I looked at Mara the whole time I spoke, I needed her to know, I was a risk, but by helping me I would do everything to make her happy.

 Mara spoke softly; " Jon, ever since I was a little girl I used to dream about you, .....what you were like. Now I can see; you are a man filled with hurt and raw emotion, as I said you made bad choices, maybe your fault or the life you were leading; you hung onto your guilt for seven years Jon, torturing yourself, I can't say that was wrong I did something similar with Brad,  but you are a wonderful man, and together I want to help you change all that, we deserve to be  happy Jon ...." then with her new  found courage Mara moved in really close and gently pressed her lips to mine.

I felt my loins tighten and harden at her touch, and my mouth responded to her gentle kiss. my dead body was alive and I had an urgency building that I wanted to show Mara, pulling her closer to me and wrapping my arms around her, my tongue sort her mouth and she responded willingly, our kiss becoming more passionate.
Mara's hands had began to explore my body moving under my shirt and up my back, breathlessly I had to pull back from our kiss, sensing where this was going to go, I sure as hell did not want to make love to Mara on a dirt walk track;  hoarsely I whispered, "not here... you are really special, Mara;" then taking her hands we rose to our feet, and turning to head back to the car Mara placed her hand in mine and left it there as we walked.

Reaching the car I opened the door for Mara. I walked to my side and got in. Starting the engine the Radio came to life playing a Bruce Springsteen song, "Born in The USA" Mara smiled and hummed along as I drove the car back to my house.

Pulling up on the drive, I asked Mara if she would like to come in. She turned to face me with a sad look on her beautiful face "Oh, Jon I would love to, but I have my next client waiting, can I take a rein check ?" deflated in one swoop!

Trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice I said "Of course you can," Thinking fast, I was desperate to see Mara again as soon as possible," would you like to join me for dinner tonight? "I can pick you up after your last client?"
"I have a better idea Jon, why don't you join me at my last class, its a spin class its 45 minutes are you on for a challenge?"
"You have gotta be kidding me. I can barely last a mile jogging, and you expect me to last forty-five minutes in a spin class?"
"Well of course. you would go at your own pace. You wouldn't have to follow what the rest of us are doing. There are beginners in every class I teach. It's a good bunch of people, how about you give it a try?"
Laughing I submitted; "ok, I will give it a go, but not tonight. Give me a little time to get used to being out of the house."
"Sure, but I am going to hold you too it." Then she gently put her hand on my arm just above my elbow. "Thanks for the coffee, I had a lovely time."
"I did too. Thanks for Joining me."
"I'll see you Friday. And if you go for one of your jogs, why don't you put on a pair of sunglasses and a baseball hat? maybe you'll avoid your picture in the paper this time."
"Yeah, I'll do that, "I chuckled. "See you Friday."

The next several weeks with Mara were wonderful. Oh course she kicked my fat ass, but it was starting to feel good. The soreness in my muscles was actually a good reminder for me to stay on track. Every time I felt an ache, or a slight pain in my arms or legs, I knew I was working to hard to blow it by eating the wrong food or beverage choice.

Each time Mara and I finished with our training sessions, we would go to Starbucks for our skinny lattes.
I was so comfortable with Mara and if I was not mistaken she was more at ease and comfortable with me too. Life was getting better. Jon Bon Jovi was coming back.

The Truth

Chapter 12

Starting conversation again with Mara I asked, " So where do you live?" "
I live in North Arlington, its about 50 minutes from here.
" Is that  far to travel coming to Red Bank?" I really had not ventured out much since locking myself away. "No not at all, I am surprised your not familiar with the area."
"I'm very familiar with New Jersey, well Red Bank and Sayreville, just not outside the local vacinity I know; In the band it was pretty much sheltered and when we travelled, it was out of a car and into a hotel," Laughing I continued, "but ask me about my favorite city in the world and I can amaze you."

while chatting to Mara I managed to find a place to pull over and to talk.
Getting out of the car, I rushed around to Mara's side of the car to help her out, but she had already beat me to it, I guess she had not pegged me as the courtly type, even though I had been trying in the short time she had been around.
We took our coffee's and drank as we talked.

"Jon, can I ask you something personal, If you don't want to answer that's fine."

I suddenly felt a knot in the pit of my stomach about what Mara was going to ask, but if I wanted a relationship with Mara then I had to be somewhat open with her.

"Shoot, ask away."

"Ok, this is not easy, but here goes," Mara swallowed hard and for the first time, she looked really nervous. " I know what I've read in the press about your womanising; and that your wife found you in bed with another women, .......but was that reason enough to lock yourself away for years and torture yourself as you have?, Jon, I feel as I am getting to know you there is more to it," she paused biefly; " oh, hell.... who am I to ask.... no what  please forget I asked I have no right to pry, that's personal to you, I'm  so sorry".

I stopped and turned to look at Mara, "It's ok, really, I am happy to explain, I really want you to know."
taking a deep breath I began, the knot in my stomach would not let up and my throat was dry as I began.

"Your right, the press had a field day with my womanising, and when I was found in bed with another women they milked the story for all its worth, no respect for Dorothea or my children. Bad enough they did that, but what makes it far worse is.... shit,"
I felt my eye's pricking with tears as I tried to stay in control to continue.

"The night that Dorothea came home and found me in bed with another women, she was fuelled with anger she left pretty much straight away,  I ran after her and called out, but she was beyond listening.... I couldn't drive as I was way to drunk; and once she was outside she climbed into her car and drove off.
I figured she was heading out to our other home in Sayerville; so I called a taxi and thought I would meet her there. I had to explain. I had to make her see.
Fact is Dorothea never made it, that night she crashed her car.
It was pretty bad, the services were called and had to cut her free,"
the lump in my throat was gettng bigger, but I stammered on, I had to let Mara know the truth,
" Dorothea was ok, thank god, ......but......... "
tears had now started falling down my face and I could not hold back the lump in my throat and the heartache I had carried for so long.
 "what no one knew was Dorothea was pregnant with my 4th child, a boy. she miscarried shortly after the crash.
she was carrying my baby Son and I ...........killed him"
By the end I was exhausted and had collapsed on the grass with my head in my hands sobbing uncontrolably letting the pent up grief flow through my veins.

Mara fell down on her knees beside me, pulling me to her; she hugged me, stroking my back, trying to ease my grief and pain.

When my tears had finally dried I looked at Mara, I had to ask,

"You see Mara, I am an evil man, not only did I kill the love I had with my wife, breaking her heart I killed my child.  now do you see why I do not deserve to be happy?" "Does my solitude make sense"

Mara sat back from me, and rested her hands in her lap, She spoke gently,

"Jon, what happened was an accident caused by a catalogue of events, your wife was at as much fault as you if not higher. Dorothea was carrying your child he was inside of her.
But blaming yourself like you have, Jon you really need to let go, its now your time to heal.
I cannot understand your hurt, but I do understand that you have paid the ultimate price for your indescretions, both you and Dorothea; but it's time to start to live again and, ...............................................if you would let me; I would love to help you do that"

Recognition

Chapter 11

"Well that certainly felt good," I uttered as I walked into the living room. Mara, smiling as she looked at me, She completely took my breath away with her beauty.
While I was showering and dressing Mara had taken her ponytail out letting her shoulder length hair fall full around her face. Her lips were shining a pretty pink colour and her face had a rosy hue to it. It appeared that Mara was doing a little primping of herself too. this sudden awareness sent a shiver through my veins. Could Mara be attracted to me as I was to her? I certainly hoped so.

"You look good Jon, I like your hair, it really suits you" "Thanks I'm thinking of streaking it again, you know capture the eighties look?" then I laughed, "Nah then again that's the old me."
"Either way you would look good." Mara blushed, but she didn't stop talking. "it's good to see you looking yourself again."
"Yeah, well I'd like to feel like myself again. I no Mara had made coffee but I suddenly felt the urge to go for a drive, I wanted Mara to join me."So Mara Whadda say,lets get outta here,"
"What? I can't Jon, I have another client at 4pm."
"but that's 2 hours away. If I promise to have you back in plenty of time for your next appointment will ya come, I just feel  as thought I need air in my lungs, well?"
I was practically begging, but I couldn't help myself. Mara, thought and then answered,
"Ok, but your driving?"
"I wouldn't have it any other way"
we left the house and walked across to my 5 cars, I had purposely grabbed the vette keys as we left. If I'm honest it was one of my faves. It was a bright shade of poppy red. it was one of the luxuries I indulged myself in when I became famous.

My cars were the one thing I still had a burning passion for, I walked round to the passenger side and open the door for Mara to climb in, running round to the drivers side, I leapt into the air and into the drivers seat.
"Impressive Mr Jovi, but what can you do for an encore" Was Mara really beginning to flirt with me, or was I imagining it.

Mara's sweet smell was almost overwhelming as she sat so close to me in the passenger seat. She smelled like cinnamon and pears. While I was driving, I actually closed my eyes a couple of times to inhale her scent.

I turned on the radio just in  case the silence became awkward, no sooner had the radio come to life it was playing an old Bon Jovi track. I suddenly had a bitter sweet taste in my mouth and could feel my mood changing.
When it came to my old life, I missed it, yet it was exactly that lifestyle that had ruined my life, destroyed my mind and demolished my heart. It was hard to look back fondly on the old golden days. Fortunately Mara had interrupted my thoughts.
"Jon, does it bother you to hear your old songs played on the radio?"
"no, not really, why do you ask?"
"the expression on your face changed when you heard the song",
"I guess it was a shock, and it brought back memories of how that time in my life came to destroy me as a man, but no it does not bother me, the song was great back then."
"Still is." Mara interjected, "Hell I would sing along, If I wasn't in Jon Bon Jovi presence." Mara laughed.
"Sing away, I'd love to hear you sing my song"
"Nah, trust me Jon you wouldn't, it would bear no resemblance to the song at all."
Being with Mara was so right, she sat with me comfortable and without wanting anything. Well almost.....
"So where's the nearest Starbucks round here, we never did drink the coffee I made us Jon," damn,
"about two blocks east Ma'am I will take you there now" I drove steady to Starbucks and parked, Mara jumped out of the car and into the store to get 2 coffee's to take out. Back in the car, I started the engine and pulled away and headed for a great spot where we could sit and talk,

finally I felt the time was right to explain the reason for my withdrawal from public life and it wasn't all about being found in my marital bed with another women. I had made my mind up, I wanted Mara to be with me. I wanted Mara to know the whole truth.

Two become one

Chapter 10

Gently pulling back from our kiss, we were both breathless. Neither of us spoke, there was no awkwardness or tension, it was right and both of us were content in each others company.

Mara broke the silence "so shall we continue with your work out?" I looked at Mara, speechless, damn the last thing I wanted was to work out, what I really wanted to do was to take hold of this wonderful women and take her to bed and make love to her. My body was on fire from our kiss and I wanted to taste her and bury myself deep inside her.

Mara looked at me waiting for my response. Suppressing my desire and my aching loins I finally answered, "sure" walking towards Mara I lent my hand gently on her lower back, I was aware of my body reacting to the touch of her body.

Every inch of my being was screaming at me to tell her, then the Jon of the past few years returned reasoning left and doubt began creeping in clouding my judgement.

You can't do this, You kill everything You touch. I was talking myself down and out of making the next move which should have been natural with Mara, our kiss, I felt it, she felt the same didn't she?

Inside the gym, Mara started the workout with warming up, starting on the treadmill ten minutes, looking over she said "today we start your weight training."
Even in my most energetic days I had never weight trained; well not to the degree Mara was talking about, my exercise was running around on stage. I hoped I wouldn't embarrass myself too much today, thinking about the kiss we shared I was beginning to wonder if I should have done that.

"Ok, Jon your done on the treadmill, lets start over here on the bench". Mara was talking about a bench with a perpendicular bar sticking out of it, with another bar that sat across that bar. I walked over to it and sat down.
"This is the bench press, it'll help to make your chest muscles really strong."

" No really?" I was being sarcastic. I at least knew what a bench press was.
Mara smirked, "Don't get smart. I don't know what you know and what you don't. you said you have never really lifted weights before so..... "
I interrupted. "I'm just kidding." she was so cute when she was frustrated. "Show me what to do."

"Lay on the bench. Place your hands on the bar right here." Mara had her hands on the bar where I was to hold. I was looking up at her, while she was looking down at me. She was beautiful. I had to swallow a lump in my throat, before I took the bar.

"Now take the bar off the rest and bring it to right above your chest." I Did. "Now slowly lift it up straight." I did. "And bring it back down" I did. "Your first bench press. Now nine more"

"What?!, but, I did it nine more times like she instructed. truth is it felt good.
"Good job. Take a sixty second break."
"Sixty seconds? Then what?"
"Another set."
"Holy cow, are you trying to kill me?" it didn't feel that good.
"It wasn't to heavy was it? you looked steady when you lifted; I thought it was just right." Mara looked concerned that I might be hurting,
"No it was ok. I was just teasing again. You are so easy to tease." she was easy to look at too;
"Well stop teasing and start concentrating. You need to focus when your training.
No fooling around "but then she smiled. "Well, you can fool around, just don't do it while your holding the weight. I don't want you to get hurt."

Ok, I'll focus" and for the next hour, I did focus. I focused on the sweat that was fell on my brow and the ache that permeated my muscles. I was beat, Mara told me that I would feel worse tomorrow.

Why was I doing this? I didn't have an answer, except that having Mara as my personal trainer was the only way to keep her around right now.

After Mara finished kicking my out of shape ass into shape, I asked her if she would like to accompany me in having a cup of coffee. Ever graceful she accepted, and even offered to make the pot while I showered and changed.

I hurried off to my quarters and showered, finishing my shower I towel tried my body and ran a blow dryer through my hair. looking in the mirror, I noticed that although it had only been one week since I started eating healthy and exercising I was already looking thinner in the face, my body was beginning to come back to life and the grey mist that had enveloped my eyes had lifted  my eyes were blue once more, I was getting a healthy glow back. Mara was responsible for resurrecting the Jon Bon Jovi that I once was, an older Jon, but not old.